|WATER BOYS: Bainimarama and Nailatikau.|
Both are known as piss heads but they'd have us believe they're teetotallers on this occasion. Get these two at the recent Sayed Khaiyum and Ela Gavoka nuptials.
Bottles of water are in front of them but it's common knowledge these days that the dictator, Frank Bainimarama, and the illegal president, Epeli Nailatikau, are drunks.
Regime sources have revealed that Bainimarama fritters money away on parties and expensive bottles of wine and that he's drunk as often as four times a week.
Nailatikau also has a reputation as a mateni; he seems to spend a lot of his time at the Defence Club imbibing freely then foisting himself on company.
The drinking of the El Supremo and El Presidente brings to mind the following clever quip: Alcohol removes inhibitions - like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: "Now bring on that damn cat!"