#header-inner img {margin: 0 auto !important; #header-inner {text-align: Center ;} Fiji Coupfourpointfive: Samoan PM blames global warming for Fiji-Tonga storm

Friday, May 20, 2011

Samoan PM blames global warming for Fiji-Tonga storm

Due to popular demand we're publishing one of the best salvos yet from Tuilaepa, Samoa's prime minister. 

Tuilaepa has had a lively relationship with Frank Bainimarama but he delivers here what is probably his most amusing observation yet of the woes of his sparring partner.

Prime Minister Tuilaepa Sailele Malielegaoi who just returned from Turkey today blames the current storm-in-a-teacup between Fiji and Tonga on Global Warming.

Asked for comment, the Prime Minister in the best of the Samoan tradition of fagogo (spinning a yarn) said:

“After reading the reported facts, I am super clear that the Fiji colonel went out fishing and got into problems with the current that sucks every debris into the Tongan Trench.

“That the Tongan boat - basking in the sunny ocean - spotted the lone colonel and went in to help. That the fisherman was none other than King George’s relation is of pure coincidence.

“Only in the Pacific do coincidences of this nature are aplenty. So in essence, Commodore Bainimarama should be thanking the Tongan government for rescuing Mara.

“He should be telling off his own navy for not helping. Perhaps that’s what happens when their admiral spends all his time in politics leaving the navy headless.

“You see, if it wasn’t for the Tongan boat and its alert crew, Mara would probably be in South America by now. Bainimarama then should thank the Tongan king and apologize for all the trouble this incident had caused.”

The only complication these days, said Tuilaepa, are when one introduces un-Polynesian concepts such as sovereignty and territorial waters.

“Those are imported concepts. Back in the olden days, you are free to roam the oceans and feast on its bounties. It belonged to nobody but to everybody. It’s a way of life that is above and beyond the purview of modern-day international maritime law.”

“And drifting fishermen are not new in this part of the world especially as hundreds of fishing canoes leave the villages to go out to fish and joyride every day. Some fishermen occasionally get swept off to the open sea and get picked up by other fishermen in nearby islands. For Samoa, Tonga and Fiji, it is tradition that you go out and rescue strayed fishermen in distress then offer them your best hospitality.

“But these incidents are happening all too often these days. Climate change and global warming has meant stronger currents and more fishermen getting cast adrift.

“If anything then is to be blamed for the current Fiji-Tonga hair-pulling, it is climate change.

“Australia therefore should provide us with more naval boats and high-tech oceanic tracking equipment so we can quickly go out and rescue our castaway fishermen.

(Shaking head) “With the way they (fishermen) are getting carried out to sea at the moment, we might not have any more fishermen left by 2012. And if more colonels in Fiji go fishing – eventually – there will be no more army to prop up Baini.” 
Samoa, the Prime Minister said, does not have a navy except for its lone Police patrol boat.

“In the villages, search and rescue is carried out by a flotilla of fishing canoes. So if one canoe is swept out, you can lose another 20 looking for it.”

The media, said Tuilaepa, are making too big a fuss of what is really a matter in the fale (house).

“It’s really a storm in a teacup. Fiji and Tonga are very close. We have a concept that best describes these two. The Samoan word togafiti aptly describes the warm relations that exists between Fijians and Tongans, the mutual backs-scratching in times of itchiness and the occasional brotherly squabble that occurs between these two.

Togafiti therefore in English, simply means, the Pacific Way.

His advice to Commodore Bainimarama?

“Go fishing. Likely you’ll be picked up by the same Tongan phantom boat that will take you to Nukualofa. After a long tit-for-tat there with Mara and the King, no doubt Bainimarama will come back ready to put Fiji back to the road to democracy and a better understanding of the rule of law and, of course, the law of the sea."


Anonymous said...

That truly is one of his best yet. Thanks PM Tuilaepa for the humour in these dark times of dictatorship. We are heartened by your stance towards the coward Bainimarama and his dictatorship.

Anonymous said...

this guy is funny. make him the PM of Fiji. Make hime the king of pacific. Frank can get a job cleaning his shoes and the Taliban AG can clean his crap.

Anonymous said...

PM Tuilaepa rules with a smile on his face. Has any one ever seen FB or Taliban AG ever crack a smile.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Mr Prime Minister of Samoa...It is hard to explain and Bainimarama will never understand the point you are trying to say. Simply because he was educated at Marist brothers and then went over to work for thr customs before joining the Navy. He never graduated from any Naval or Military College. That is why he never listen to advice. He only listen to Khaiyum and very soon they will be neighbours or even cell mates in Naboro.
He doesn't understand the Pacific way. NOw he is more used to the Chineese and Muslim way. Because they are the ones who are filling up his pockets. What a shame...Go Samoa!!!!!

Anonymous said...

How do you know when Commodore Bainmarama is not telling the truth.
His lips are moving.

Anonymous said...

Yes, Bainimarama, too much navel gazing.
That's why he is confused and delusional.
He doesn't know who his friends are and who his enemies are.
"There is NO REST for the wicked.They are like the restless sea, turning up mire and dirt" (Isaiah 57:20)

-Valataka na Dina.

Magai said...

Thank you Tuilaepa. Ur da man!!

Anonymous said...

Now here we have a good honest man. You have to love him.

Samoa is now the jewel of the Pacific and was against Frank the Crank right from the beginning.

Why did Samoa realize from the beginning that Fiji was nose diving to a bloody mess and other educated Fijians thought it was the way to go for a better Fiji?????

Go Samoa Go!

Yalewa Dina said...

Haha I was looking up the latest from the Samoan PM cause I knew he wud wip lash bai with pacific poison lingo like gutting a fish up. I wonder wot Baini response will be? A written speech by Kaiyum trying to be professional but nothing in the head. I hope Bai goes fishing n gets carried away to Cuba by the currents or be swept into Nukulau his future prison cell n all his thugs. Thank you Samoan PM : )

Anonymous said...

It is very easy to see the difference between brain and brawn. Thank you, Mr Honorable Prime Minister of Samoa. You put our dishonorable one to shame. It's a pity that the allusions, the subtle digs, the wordplays, etc will all just go over his head.

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha Love it, Love it, Love it. Thank You Mr Prime Minister.

That's telling them. Bring them right down to eye level off their high horses. hahahaha Good one.

Thanks again Coup4.5 - you allare just the BEST. Keep up the good work.

LevukaBoy said...

Ni bula vinaka Tuilaepa! Hilarious! Sa dina, we the nations of Samoa, Fiji, Tonga have an age old relationship that goes back to the dawn of time. It can be easily proved that we are family. My prayer is that parliamentary democracy will be restored to Fiji. And God Bless the Pacific Triangle.

SEMI MEO said...

Actually, manu samoan may be the lost member of the Laughing Samoans!!..offensive humor is our time of need..very un-togafiti, Sir??!!

Anonymous said...

meanwhile ,,,frank continues in fiji.
he doesnt care u fools ,,,ur deluding yoselves with jokes while life goes on in fiji n in the koros where no one reads this rubbish.....

Sam said...

Samoa rocks.

Anonymous said...

@Anon. 6:03 PM. Precisely. Delusional creature --- "doesn't know who his friends are and who his enemies are." BainiArse is FINISHED!!!

Anonymous said...

PM Tuilaepa is the embodiment of Pacific Political Tradition & Culture... He may be one of the last of the Mohicans of our Pacific Leaders (Inclu Somare) and I wonder whether he can consider delivering a 101 Course on Pacific Politics to Tu Bai & Tu Khai.


Anonymous said...

Malo Samoa!!! FB needs to learn alot. FB has forgotten his roots coz he has allowed foreigners to be his closest advisors!!!

Anonymous said...

Witty! Great to have a leader with brain and position. Points at conciliatory way of resolving a tight situation.Shows also someone who understands history - the pirates of the south sea traversing the pacific ocean on drua - no sovereignty no territorial EEZ then.

Anonymous said...

They're going to reap the consequences soon, feel what it's like to be oppressed. BainiArse's foolish plans are like planting the wind, but they will harvest a storm.

The day of their doom is just around the corner, sudden and swift and sure.

Anonymous said...

@Semi MEo

If one was brought up in any Melanesian or Polynesian Village setting, one would recognised the nature of PM Tuilaepa's humour entwined in wisdom in his statement.

Don't belittle him as he has clearly explained the situation in the Pacific Way.

Dina said...

Roko Ului Mara's "I got into distress at sea" story = LIE.

Therefore, everything he says become suspicious...

Same for Bainimarama...

Find the truth.

Anonymous said...

1. Rt ului mara has not said much that we already know;

2. He started with a lie;

3. He was part of the regime and a key figure;

4. Can u trust men that have affairs with other people's wife;

5. Is this whole thing for self, ie selfish agenda;

6 what can he achieve from tonga;

7. Fellow fijians (not those barking from aust/nz), pls work, pray and support your family.

8. Don't humilate the fiji racem

Anonymous said...

Sovereignty is when you get caught, you get the boat confescated. But Toangan are in and out, so no case to answer.

Driti, you try the deisel engine fishing boat that goes out to Levuka and Labasa. Buy a boat, load your family, Ului's family and one way journey. You don't need flare when you have mobile phone to make distress calls.

Make sure leave both your mistresses behind!

Anonymous said...

@Dina. Everyone with a room-temperature IQ or above knows why Ratu Ului left. Give it up. Ului is redeeming himself and has the support of the people of Fiji.

GONE NI RA said...

TUILAEPA-YOU DAH BOMB MAN! i accep that explaination-its good enough for me. Cheers PM!

Anonymous said...

Will the stupid vulagi [foreigners] ever learn? Hiding behind a Fijian face and pulling strings from behind the scenes. Bavadra then, Baini now.

You've Been Busted. Your game plan against the Fijian people isn't going to work. Give it up. Bocis.

Yalewa Dina said...

Semi Meo, I suggest you go fishing mada n maybe you will end up in Kiuva!!!!

Anonymous said...

The dictator is finished as the fact is people of fiji no longer beleive him and have no faith or respect for him, its right he should go fishing as well but better be careful as tongans aint coming to rescue him and take to kings house in tonga-they might shoot at the sinking bilibili of voro

Anonymous said...

Pm Samoa -I LOV IT - well done!!

Anonymous said...

Tuilepa is a total corrupt clown. Talk abt double standards by Aussie n Nz. Any Samoan can't be elected into parliment. U gotta b a chief. Very backward place Samoa and so is Tuilepa.

Anonymous said...

hats off to the samoan pm... if only baini can understand..

Anonymous said...

This dude knbow what he is saying. He has watched "Finding Nemo" over 100 times. Its the EAC and the high pressure over pacific that is causing this problem.

Anonymous said...

I hope and pray that Bani/Ayarse or their shitheads reading this article by PM Samoa.

This simply shows that what laughing stock PM of Fiji and the rest of has become. They are all laughing on this dumbo PM of Fiji who is acting like a macho. They all know how stupid and childish he is.

Fellow Fijian like with little more brain than Bani should feel ashamed to have a PM like this. I wonder the others also must be laughing at us saying "stupid lazy fijians, they cant do anything about this dumb ass and accepting whatever he does.

What a shame.......shame ....shame .....shame.........to all of us living in this era under this arrogant , big headed stupid asshole..........

Anonymous said...

Pls read latest article abt samoan pm and how he changed rules abt standing for elections.

He may be funny but he also is ruling like a dictator.

I am embarrassed for my fellow Fijians mutton head

Anonymous said...

samoan pm malo lava.
pls take bai/ag taliban to samoa to clean your shoes.
we dont need the idiots in fiji.
they have con fiji.

Anonymous said...


Happy feet said...

Anon @ 7.47 pm and 8.30pm... doode, get with the humour.. i reck'n baini's aiyarsing rigid cold blood is thick in your head and veins

geez, lighten up.. i guess, the TRUTH hurts.

Good on ya Tuilakepa.. All rightly said in the "Pacific Way"

Just hope Bainimarama reads this and just maybe carries out the last para... Hahaha.. that would be a sight!
Biu o Tonga, takasa i Antartica vei ratou na penguins ni happy feet!Baleta nona no-training mai na naval academy, ena fail kina nona navigation!!

Anonymous said...

Storm in a tea-cup = non-issue. Greater things to worry about in the Pacific like global warming than fishing-rescue-turn-fugitive-extradition case. Poke fun@n illegal regime in Fiji for sleeping on the job. Baini- go fishing, probably why he's spending more time in Kadavu, maybe trying to retrace the currents that swept Roko Ului away!

Anonymous said...

Baini is scared sailing back as he may be hijacked by the somali pirates hired by C4.5 bloggers.

I hear food poising will take place when AK or FB visits the hotels. They better take food tasters with them. Maybe one of the $200 per day goons maybe ordered to do the tasting. heheheheh!

Anonymous said...

Tuilaepa is an idiot. Hands down the most stupid leader in the pacific. Half the comments on this post are being made by his propaganda poodle bum boy Terry Tavita Tupuola trying to make his boss look like a hero. Samoa getting jealous no one talking about them showing how unimportant they are. Pls improve your education system so your PM can have good grammar. He is behaving like a foolish clown trying to get in on the action. Stick to driving on the left.

Anonymous said...

Well, say it like it is... HILARIOUS!!

Manuia Samoa!

Vinaka Coup4.5 - we needed that break; it sure made my evening!


Anonymous said...

Voro corruption is known by illegal AG that is why voro cant get rid of him and both in ti together with john prasad who was used, they all must pay for their corruption, FICAKE is a farce

Anonymous said...


Prez says he really would have like to have returned from Rotuma sooner to take PM to task but he heard a rumour that global warming had caused the waters to rise by 80meters overnight and the only transport available was a surfboard that had washed up on the shore earlier that day.


The fine folk in Kadavu are not themselves today. Quarrels are breaking out everywhere as everyone is accusing their neighbors of having stolen their household stashes of coconuts and homegrown marijuana.


The PM has arranged his boat transport to Suva. VERY CLEVERLY, he has substituted a life size Elvis doll to go in his place. He is pretty certain that no-one will notice the fraud as he has dressed Elvis in a Bula shirt and sulu. As a final touch, he decided his decoy should carry his favorite red bucket.

Now done with those little niceties, he is ready to set sail in the opposite direction in his super duper totally think-out-of-the-box new coconut raft. To pass the time (and because it is recommended by his doctor!) he will puff the time away and hope to arrive in (Taveuni - oops! - no. Can't go there. NZ - oops! They wouldn't be too happy to see him either. Tonga - ah - no.) Well, no matter. He's smart. He's a Commodore. Something will occur to him.


Man wandering around at JJ's for days now. Looks a bit lost. But, no. Wait! His face is lighting up as he views the TV at the bar. The 6 o'clock news is reporting that the PM is due back in Suva any moment now.

He is elated as he wants to offer a one of a kind deal to him about some great real estate called Champagne Beach. Good thing he brought a prospectus with him!


Hong Kong is reporting that a man was found more dead than alive on a nearby beach. He told reporters that he owed his life to the convoy of pigs that had followed his boat. A gust of wind had knocked his golden sail off his boat but he bravely paddled until, within sight of shore, the boat flipped him into the water. Next thing he knew, he was spread-eagled on the beach with one of the pigs giving him mouth-mouth resuscitation. He says that when he opened his eyes and saw her, it was love at first sight. A June wedding has been planned.

Anonymous said...

We fijians are just good at back stabbing - see where we end up.

Mpc will be pm if we hv elections now

Anonymous said...

voro cant go fishing cos he cant swim and one of the 50 guards might revolt and push him in the water

Anonymous said...

Isn't God gracious? A safe journey for Ratu Mara.
No hurricanes.
No Tsunami.
No sharks jumping out of the ocean to bite him.
Just floating happily on a tinny boat.
I pray that God would be gracious to us too.
Fijians, Indians, Others.
We don't deserve it but I pray that He will restore us to what we once were. A place without bullying thugs. A place of honesty and integrity and care for our fellow men.
May God bless Fiji. May God also bless Tonga and Samoa.
May God crush our enemies to dust.
And may God bless the future generation who will run this country.

- Valataka na Dina.

Anonymous said...

the gcc should just reconvene and hold the meeting by monday.. its gcc dat can solve fijis problem.. get ur status and ur dignity back from the corrupt regime.. dont let the guns dictate u.. to all our high chiefs.. fiji needs your blessing and direction

Ba boy said...

Please Tuilaepa, come and take Baini and his Taliban comrade Aliarse....take them to Samoa to clean the lavartories of your prisons. Also, we hereby give them over for Manu Samoan boys to increase their fitness by using these two as punching bags.

Anonymous said...

under the mango tree and gone fishing loma ni vale kuro, lei pono daniva

Anonymous said...

@ Anon "GCC shud da answer to our problem"

What a load of CRAP! They are worst then Baini & Croonies 'cause they r either DEAF or BLIND so what are they USED for?

To all HIGH CHIEFS (Thieves) I don't respect any of you 'cause those titles you received from ur forefathers were COLONIAL handmedowns' N ur Forefathers must have been a gr8 tabetabe person.

Anonymous said...


Bai had a minor stroke in Kadavu and thats why his boat was delayed. This was after learning of the treachery of the Kadavu Peoples.

Rt Ului met today with the NZ & Aust Ambassador to Kingdom of Tonga. Deal being worked out.

Aust PRUN has started engaging major Bloc countries in the General Assembly to initiate Trade & Economic Sanctions against Fiji never dreamn't of by Khaiyum.

Rt Ului has also contacted ICC Hague to initiate Crimes Against Human Reports against Regime.

Prez Nailatiulukau not expected to make stand against Bai & Team of Suckers.

The House of Cards is crumbling.

Anonymous said...

breaking news- voro and his 50 guards are training at qeb at cover of dark preparing to travel close to tonga fishing and then make a distress call then invade and takeover tonga- they say something like clean up time for themselves as the waters is too tempting for the junta to invade tonga and swim in its soverign waters

Anonymous said...

Beqa pledges support to Govt
Publish date/time: 20/05/2011 [17:05]

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Share "We promise to support the Government and your leadership."

Those are the words of the Chief of Rukua in Beqa to the Prime Minister Commodore Voreqe Bainimarama earlier today.

Commissioner Central Peni Ratumaitavuki said the Tui Rukua, Ratu Kalaveti Sugutanavanua presented a whale's tooth to the Prime Minister to acknowledge the development works done by the Government.

Meanwhile Commodore Bainimarama walked around and visited the village school in Rukua and Raviravi and encouraged the students to study hard and achieve higher education.

He returns to Suva this afternoon.

Story by: Tokasa Rainima & Watisoni Butabua


Anonymous said...

Fa' afetai tele lava PM Tuilaepa..It's time for Baini to grow up. He's a Sick b&@%#*!!!

Anonymous said...

c4.5 - you guys rock....Wananavu C4.5 ....

Anonymous said...

What's all this fuss about Tongan invasion. It's obviously a palace to palace connection. Have we forgotten that we are ruled by a Tongan. Though Maafu couldn't quite make it, but there you have it, more than a century later we have one sitting on the throne right here in Fiji..Oh boy history marvels eh..There you have it - who arranged for RU's escape is a foregone conclusion...

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

thanks samoan pm for clearing that out,and 4 ratu mara...what took u so long to speak out?

Anonymous said...

laughing Samoan?????

Anonymous said...

@ those of you ridiculing the GCC If you can, think back to the last GCC meeting, it was this prick Ului who went into that meeting and discouraged an upheaval by the Vanua.

Yes this issue was floated in that mtg. Whose side is he on now??

Anonymous said...

how about condom baiyaz??? or baiyass

Anonymous said...

$200 a day and 50 special guards, quite a lot of money indeed to maintain these guys. I'm sure govt does not have it. So whose footing the bill..must be some private funds coming in from Chinese First Raiway, Tapoos which is from our FNPF money anyway, Quality Print, Lalas, Joe's farm, Punjas and some wealthy Muslims and couple others..

Anonymous said...

@3:08 AM. Beware. We have BainiArse trolls with us.

Anonymous said...

@anon 6.49am. Love that name "Condom Bai". If only his father had worn it that night, we wouldn't have all these trouble. AK was conceived some other way. maybe love child of bin laden and one of 64 virgin sheep on the back of camel trailer.

Anonymous said...

Editorial: Dictatorship’s hold on Fiji is crumbling


Sooner or later Fijians will wake up to the profound insolence of a self-appointed leadership telling them it knows their best interest and does not care for their vote.

Dictatorships fall when basic human resentment at the removal of rights and freedoms can no longer be repressed. Fijians have much to resent.

Anonymous said...


Hong Kong correspondants are now reporting that "castaway man" (as they refer to him) received a phone call that has changed his upcoming nuptial plans. He indicated to reporters that the call originated from JJ's and that he could almost smell pork sizzling on the grill there. Apparently a one time real estate offer (second time around) demands his full attention and presence because, in his words, he "doesn't want to miss out on a pork dinner." His future bride is distraught and was last seen regrouping her convoy.


Fiji military intelligence (2 people) is said to have hit a roadblock in trying to "out" bloggers who don't support the PM. The problem? It would appear that approximately 795,000 would need to be arrested. Hmmmmmm. They are now huddled in debate as to an adequately sized location for a prison populace this size.

Anonymous said...

F U Samoa, stay out of our business. If you really care you would have done something like Tonga and not just talking smart like what other nations are doing.

i Taukei said...

Tuileapa you keep your mouth shut...we know that you want more Aids fro Aussie and NZ, just asked them straight and dont play politics because you have no Military and you are ruled by Aussie and Kiwi


Anonymous said...

How do you know Bainivuaka is lying?
When Aiyarse speaks.
Tuilaepa is only adding to what we have always known, Bainivuaka is a joke and Fiji is a banana republic. Semi meow should consider becoming a comedian for vuaka.

Anonymous said...

I Taukei...oh does Fiji have a military? I thought they're assholes in uniform led by Condom Bainivuaka.

Anonymous said...

We just need to plan a concerted attack on the www.fiji.gov.fj web site. Lets show the Condom Baini that we have the power to bring his regime down from cyberspace. This will also show the people that by attacking the site together and making it meltdown that there is large number of people not happy with him.

Can C4.5 publish a date and I am sure we have enough experts here to help guide the best way to plan this attck.

Lets start to hurt him. Its just collective all of us to start visting his website and making request simultaneously. or is there another method? there is no crime in visiting the site so no one will be in trouble. But we all need to visit it same time and start clicking on menu same time.

Condom Baini get ready for our attack.

Anonymous said...

Gotta love Pacific humuor, love it even more coming from a head of state....he's such a natural @ it as well...Have we ever seen Bainivuaka crack a joke that lit up his whole face???...He only makes sarcastic comments which he laughs @ himself & those goons around him have to laugh along too to save face...He looks like he's got botox everytime he's on tv...Bainivuaka your days are numbered...Who do you think will have the last laugh then???

lario said...

this guy is a legend!!

Anonymous said...

He must be brothers with Tony Fullman..........Thats why hes friends with the Mara Royal Family!

Anonymous said...

well....thanx very much Mr Bainimarama for the gre8 help u hav done to ur country....our Beloved Fiji....Let's pray that GOD will continue to BLESS our nation....