#header-inner img {margin: 0 auto !important; #header-inner {text-align: Center ;} Fiji Coupfourpointfive: We'll take the piss .... why not?

Sunday, January 8, 2012

We'll take the piss .... why not?

An insider was able to give me Bainimarama’s draft of his speech dated 6th January. His draft was then sent to Qorvis who turned it into the speech we all heard on Friday 6th. Bainimarama’s draft paints a truer picture of the situation in Fiji.

My humble servants: As I told you in my New Year’s address the Public Emergency regulations will be lifted tomorrow. Now I will tell you what will really happen; I did not want to tell you before because I did not want to ruin the good will on the first day of 2012.

This marks an important step toward the informing, you my humble servants, about the new constitution under which a truly democratic election will vote me in as President and Khaiyum, He is the one with his hand up my arse, as Prime Minister.

No modern state, especially one created by an act of terror wishes terror upon itself. I am sure you understand, my humble servants, that it is important for the well being of my family that I take a lead from countries such as Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Equatorial Guinea and Bahrain to name a few of Qorvis’s more enlightened truly democratic clients.

In Fiji we have experienced terrorism. I should know because I was the ring leader. Qarase will never forget the terror of having armed soldiers at his door. President Iloilo would always shake when he signed any document I asked him to sign.

We must never allow this to happen again because that would remove me from power. Therefore I will crack down on anyone who threatens my authority and my wife’s shopping trips.

In the UK a person can be detained for 14 days on suspicion of terrorism. My friend Robert Mugabe tells me that is nothing and he can detain people for as long as he wants. Now that’s sensible. He has been a dictator as long as anybody and he knows what he is doing. The USA has Guantanamo Bay and detains all terrorists off shore. That is a great idea and we are going to close Rotuma to all civilians and turn it into a massive detention centre.

Mugabe also tells me that any vilification of the Zimbabwe’s Supreme ruler and family even on the internet has been criminalized. Any blog site that shows another picture of me and my son in the back of a limo will be exterminated. I have found the people who hacked the Government website this week and they are now working for me at the high speed internet cell at Naboro.

We have had such safeguards in Fiji under the PER. However, I removed it in a shameless attempt to garner international support and to pretend we will have consultations on democracy. However as my puppet master informed me we need to ensure that MY rights are protected and so we have updated the Public Order Act.

Over the past few years I have brought in a number of changes. We have sought to empower my family and modernize us. Well at least all my grand children have iPads and I have an iPhone. My new friend Kim Jong-un, the Supreme Commander of North Korea gave me a new app for my iPhone for Christmas. It is called iDictate and a lot of the new Public Order Act came directly from the App. (Note to self. Make me Supreme Commander at first available opportunity)

My Government has been very successful and we have achieved an overall decrease in the crime rate because nothing that I, my ministers and members of the military do can be a crime. Take the policeman who went for a swim in the pool at QEB after one of my officers beat him unconscious. 

Under past governments corruption prevailed and the economy was mismanaged. (Apparently they had something called economic growth, I have no idea what that is) But anyway the problem with their corruption was that it did not include me, Khaiyum or Aunty Nur. I feel sorry for Aunty Nur because she is so ugly and she says she needs all this money for major plastic surgery. She was given a quote the other day and it will cost over $10m USD to make her into a decent looking woman.

Now my Government, with the help of corruption and has made sure that all the money coming into Fiji goes through Aunty Nur and Khaiyum. They then give me a cut he tells me it is the biggest cut because I am the dictator and I trust everything Lickmyarse says.

Over the past few years here is a list of my Governments achievements.
1-      Implementation of a common and equal citizenry. - We have all read Animal Farm and some citizens, namely myself are more equal than others.
2-      Outlaw of institutionalized racism and other discriminatory practices – Just look at the military, we are an institution, we have racism and we are outlawed by the rest of the world.
3-      Codifying equal rights for women – Aunty Nur gets an equal share
4-      Creation of FICAC – That’s a godsend for making sure all the corruption comes my way. If you don’t send the cash to my Swiss bank account then you go to Prison.
5-      Creation of the Independent Legal Services Commission – That is answerable to Khaiyum
6-      Instituting a Child Welfare Decree – If I had not increased poverty we would not have needed this.
7-      Putting in place a new Crimes Decree – That gives me total control
8-      Creating a transparent and sustainable provident fund – Well I will have a pension that will keep me and Mary in the way  we have become accustomed
9-      Equal distribution of land lease monies – Half for all the owners and half for me
10-  And Restructured Fiji Sugar Corporation and the Sugar industry – Vaniqi tells me we have had a run of record years. He said “Lowest production ever”
11-  Getting better returns for landowners and providing security for tenants – As Khaiyum and I are now the biggest landowners it is imperative we get bigger returns and also we need to make sure our Chinese tenants are well looked after.

Under me Fiji has managed to do great things and these include:
1-  We have made unprecedented investment in technology and communications. How else do you think we read all emails and listen to those Vodafone mobile calls.
2-  We have invested greatly in rural areas. My new farms are doing very well and supplying food to my new mines.
3- We have increased poverty so more people need free food, textbooks etc.
4- We have increased our diplomatic ties, especially with those countries whose concept of democracy is as flawed as my own.
5- We have brokered many successful partnerships. Aunty Nur with Rewa Dairy, Aunty Nur, with 100 sands Casino, Aunty Nur with…. She is good about sharing the wealth
6- We have given impetus to the private sector. - And that is why they are all investing overseas
7- We have been able to cut taxes - I have found that if you keep the money offshore in Switzerland or the Caymans you don’t pay tax at all.
But none of this could have been successful if the normal checks and balances of a democratic system had been in place.
We would not have been able to move forward if democracy had kept us in the past. The freedom blogs have not seen the light and with my new iDictate app they will be destroyed.
There is nothing more I want than a Fiji which has me as Supreme Commander for life…..
Unfortunately the rest of the speech was unreadable as there was a large Johnny Walker Blue Label stain.

Thumbs up for Democracy!!

ILLUSTRATION: DISCOMBOBUBLATED BUBU
STORY: FIJI DEMOCRACY

57 comments:

Anonymous said...

The cartoon is an insult to men out there, his balls and cock are just like the pigs.

Blow me over said...

So this is the illustration Qorvis forgor to include in Frank's state of the nation address

Kiuva Tiger said...

Oh I love the cartoon, it deserves the front page of the Sun and Times.

Anonymous said...

He doesn't have any balls, ask Khaiyum and Nur Bano. And according to Sharon, his dick is like a raisin, all shriveled up.

Anonymous said...

...............hanging out for Nur Bano and / or the ugly shammmen sisters !!

Anonymous said...

I bet Frank will read it and laugh his block head off tears and all...then realise...its making fun of him..then go beat some private up and have a quick vutulaki after.

mark manning said...

I suspect that Frank's appendage in this cartoon is fake. I thought he had a pussy !

BATKI said...

Oh my god: Frank soft cock gone so big after Naz Shammem and Nur Bano sucking of five years......wonder it is a dick now or is a tumor of some sort!!!!!! good one c4.5

Anonymous said...

Um..Manning...the actual appendage in the cartoon should be at Vore's rear with Khaiyum at the end of it.

Anonymous said...

YOU WILL NOT GET ANYWHERE WITH THIS KIND OF ATTITUDE,IT SEEMS YOU ALL ARE JOCKERS OF SOME KIND AND REALLY NOT BOTHERED WITH SELF DETERMINATION AND PROGRESS IN FIJI,SHAME ON YOU FOR STOOPING SO LOW!!!

Anonymous said...

Great humor Mark,well Sharon said that he has ED and the size given was 2 inches...So C4.5 please stop
giving the whole world a false graphic of this moron? He was so pumped up this morning, about the
picture and pissed-off everyone when he wanted to go out for his morning jog? His body guard-that is
the guys that normally runs ahead or behind him, was laughing out when he stopped over at my house, to tell me that, a huge ripe Banana
had slipped-off Bais rugby short during their run."What's that all about"? he asked? Well Sharon had been talking, with her girl friends about his ED, theres not much the PM can do?But the picture
seems to have given him a new lease
in life?

Anon Mouse said...

Anon@3.50pm Stop shouting and get a sense on humour.

Anonymous said...

Go PM Go.... Use this Blog to do Fiji better.... This must be People....who have no knowlodge of ur actions.

Anonymous said...

GUYS HAVE PITY ON OUR DICTATOR, IT'S HIS LIFE AND THE FEW THAT FOLLOW HIM THAT'S ON THE CHOPPING BLOCK.

THE SAME VILLAGERS THAT HE'S TRYING TO VESUMONA WILL HANG HIM UP HIGH & DRY.

Good Job said...

Anon at 3.50pm Someone has lifted up your father's skirts haha

khaiyums left leg said...

Is that khaiyum's left leg hanging down the dictator's pants? Where is the rest of the little piggy?

Anonymous said...

Dam... This is off course.....! Some really pissed off people out there.

New Fiji said...

(CNN) -- Fiji's military government lifted a three-year state of emergency Saturday ahead of talks on drafting a new constitution and eventual elections.

Prime Minister Voreqe Bainimarama, who seized power in a 2006 military coup, had announced the repeal of emergency regulations in a New Year's message.

Bainimarama, also Fiji's military chief, overturned the constitution in 2009 and maintained martial law. He said the process of drafting a new constitution would begin in February and promised elections in 2014.

"The constitution must establish a government that is founded on an electoral system that guarantees equal suffrage -- a truly democratic system based on the principle of one person, one vote, one value," he said in his message, posted on a government website.

For years, Bainimarama has promised to reform the country's electoral system and eradicate "endemic corruption." But many one-time allies have criticized him for not moving fast enough and not allowing a democracy to flourish.

"Since taking power Bainimarama has neutralized his opponents, crippled Fiji's democratic institutions, and refused to hold elections," says the CIA World Factbook.

The Commonwealth -- a voluntary, cooperative alliance of 54 nations that were once part of the British Empire and formerly known as the British Commonwealth -- suspended Fiji from its ranks about two years ago after the military government failed to respond to a demand to restore democracy.

That meant Fiji would no longer receive aid from the Commonwealth.

Fiji was expelled from the Pacific Forum in 2009 after failing to meet a similar deadline set by that multinational bloc.

That decision came a month after a court ruling that declared Fiji's military government illegal and ordered that a caretaker government be instituted. But that didn't happen, as Bainimarama was sworn in again as prime minister, the country's constitution was annulled and all judges were fired.

Fiji suffers from deep ethnic divisions between the indigenous Fijians and Indo-Fijians who are descendents of laborers brought by the British from India. At one time, the two groups were roughly equal in size but many Indians emigrated during a recent period uncertainty.

In making his announcement about elections, Bainimarama said Fiji's new system should not "classify Fijians based on ethnicity," saying all men and women 18 years and older "must have the right to vote."

Inky Pinky said...

Bring on the Khaiyum one

Vasiti Ritova said...

Maan..sa va'loloma this cartoon...kaikailaaaa..isa o keda na ceke sa virai mai...

Anonymous said...

Check out the kutu sebe symbol on the beret ... ahahahahahha good one

Shameem. said...

Frank is not a porn star, he has a small pinati. This picture is wrong, Kaiyum has a bigger dong then Frank.

One string Kaiyum said...

I can see Kaiyum's teeth marks on it...ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha kaila!!!!

uncut said...

I thought Frank was teve!

Anonymous said...

Anybody who thinks Frank deserves respect and should not be made fun of is a fool.

Anonymous said...

Khiayum says..

My dear boss has No balls man, dats why I screw him around the nuts.

Even my two aunties Nur Bano Ali & Naz Shameem strip naked and had a god at him, they were both unsatisfied and said Aiyaz your boss has no balls. If he had one may be its used only for weee weee.

Anonymous said...

is that khaiums head poking out of franks pants or nur banus hands sticking out ???????

Anonymous said...

STOP MAKING FUN OF ME. I THINK THEY HAVE CAPTURED MY NOSE PERFECTLY. NOT SURE WHAT ALL THE FUSS IS ABOUT.

Anonymous said...

Anon 3.50pm
Just tell your father to return the country to democratic rule quickly because he has made his millions and all his relatives like you secured with jobs,like 72 year old Meli off to Malaysia as Ambassador, Francis the murderer promoted to PS Works,Litia as CEO Sports Council, whilst the majority of school leavers will find it very difficult to find employment.
Curse be on the Bainimarama family for the next 7 generations

Anonymous said...

Na kaukauwa ni veiliutaki vakailoa, sa ceke mai kina na tamata. e vaka e cula oratou nai soso dawa mai Kiuva vua edua na luve ni Pi
vinaka C4
Dua mada mai droini nei Aiyarse kei Aunty Nur meda dredre mada ni sa vakarau caka mai qo na constitution vou ni Viti.

Anonymous said...

no such caricature of speight or rabuka. wonder why?????????????

Anonymous said...

frank is a liar like his ag and crook advisors.
i hope god will punish him soon.
he has messed up fiji.
we just want the 1997 constitution back .
he should follow the april 2009 court ruling.
that final.
who gave his illegal govt mandate to have a new constitution.
no one.
we dont need charter,one man one vote system..
whom is he fooling with this system .
indian will have only 2 seats .
we dont need any more lies.
we had enough.
god bless fiji people.
rajesh

Anonymous said...

And we take 4.5 seriously. I rest my case.

Anonymous said...

Prease weave our well hung reader arwrong - said the chinamen.

Kiuva Mongoose said...

anon January 8 20/12 8:26pm

Because Rabaku and Spade did not stay long enough to grow those kind of credentials..take it away mate.

Anonymous said...

People, please get something better rather than funny picture of bai. That is the reason why all this ex army goons desert their master because they could not take the arse beating from their master.

Anonymous said...

From Fiji Live today...how naive can we keep being?


FLP applauds Commonwealth’s support
January 08, 2012 01:02:09 PM

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The Fiji Labour Party (FLP) has welcomed the assistance offered by the Commonwealth to return Fiji to democratically elected government without further delay.

This followed the removal of the Public Emergency Regulations by the Fiji government yesterday.

Commonwealth Secretary-General Kamalesh Sharma welcomed the announcement by the Fiji authorities to lift emergency laws in Fiji and to begin national consultations on a new constitution by February.

However, FLP said the PER should have never happened.

By Mereani Gonedua

BATKA said...

Khaiyum is a liar. He told Radio NZ on 30th december 2011 that Methodist Church will be able to hold its AGM conference after the PER is lifted. But Fijilive reports today Methodist Church will not be allowed to have its meetings. Khaiyum mother fucker stop misleading the international community.

Anonymous said...

no change in messy fiji media from what i can see


Rajen Chaudhry doesn’t represent me: Dr Chand
January 9, 2012 | Filed under: Fiji News | Posted by: newsroom

By JYOTI PRATIBHA

Ganesh Chand said yesterday that Suva lawyer Rajendra Chaudhry has never represented him in any legal proceedings.
Prominent academic and former Mahendra Chaudhry Government minister Dr Chand added:
“I have never been duly served with any summons by Mr Charan Singh or his lawyer at any time, or their bailiffs.”
Dr Chand was responding to yesterday’s Fiji Sun report of a court order by consent ending a defamation action by leading businessman Charan Jeath Singh.
The court order listed Dr Chand as one of the defendants and Mr Chaudhry as the lawyer for the defendants.
In an email to the Fiji Sun yesterday, Mr Chaudhry said: “Gordon and Chaudhry Lawyers acted for all the defendants except Dr Ganesh Chand.” But last night, Suva lawyer Hemendra Nagin, whose firm Sherani and Company represented Mr Singh, said all documents had been served to Gordon and Chaudhry lawyer Mr Chaudhry, whom they were under the impression was representing all defendants.
Mr Singh and one of his companies, Gurbachans Foodtown, of Labasa, in 2001 sued former Labour-led Government Prime Minister Mahendra Chaudhry, Dr Chand, and six others.
This was over claims allegedly made in a pamphlet said to have been circulated during the campaign for 2001 Sugar Cane Growers Council elections.
Mr Singh is also a sugarcane farmer and has invested in the sugar industry.
In a recent court order, which marked the end of the long-standing matter, Justice Brito Mutunayagam said: “The defendants acknowledge and accept that the plaintiffs were not involved in financing or in any manner whatsoever with the 2000 George Speight coup and hereby withdraw unreservedly any statements at any time made to the contrary.”
The defendants listed in Justice Mutunayagam’s court order were:

l Dr Chand, of Suva, lecturer;

l Mr Mahendra Chaudhry, of Suva, trade unionist;

l Kamla Prasad of Delailabasa, Labasa, insurance agent,

l Shiu Nagindas of Nasekula, Labasa, businessman;

l Lateef Subedar, of Korowiri, Labasa, retired civil servant;

l Jaganath Reddy, of Tabucola, Labasa, growers councillor;

l Abhay Raj Reddy, of Namara, Labasa, market vendor;

l and the National Farmers Union.

El Presidente. said...

People that's not his cock, it's a cassava still lodged in his pants when he ran through a cassava patch.

No Mandate said...

Anon@3.50 stop trying to make people afraid to criticise Frank. we are entitled to laugh, make fun, be scornful and spit on him if we want just as you are entitled to respect him if you want

Navy Boy said...

Anon @3.50

Lai tabeya ga ona volo sa yaji tu i tuba, ka ni cici sobu i vi tpioke.

Anonymous said...

C4.5
Can this cartoon be e mailed to Frank?

Judge Blunder, ooops Gounder. said...

The caption should read "Fiji your future is in my pants, ooops sorry, in my hands." Voceke Bainivuaka you pig shit.

Anonymous said...

A back end version would suffice.........to see how far A-I_Arse & Aunty Nur have crawled up his alley.......

Aiyarse Kahiyum said...

Please email the cartoon to Vuaka, and explain to him that he's not well endowed, his penis and his testicle, yes just one testicle, are full of hot air. He's a very sick man.

Voceke said...

I'm sure the MINFO spies in here will be drooling over Frank's tivoli. Sharon in particular will be dreaming of it..

Kiuva Tiger said...

Sa laurai odratou i yau vaka mareqeti mai Namajiu.

Bigger Uncle said...

That white American pussycat of ASK, David Pflieger needs to go (that is to jail) once the illegal regime fails. Oh, Aiyaz and Bai, am I breaking the new Public Order Act (you freakin asshole)? Will you throw me in prison for not calling you the greatest man, PM, Lord, etc and for bad mouthing the truth about you. Yes you Bai, the illegal PM, woman basher, thief and a dumb shit.

You think you can fool the works by dropping your PER and then replace this with the new Public Order Act. Who are you fooling? Get a grip because people of Fiji are not stupid like you Bai and Aiyazhole (pronounced as Asshole).

Oh, have not forgotten about the pretty babe Aunty Nur that is so ugly that she needs a facelift. I would hate to imagine what her other body parts look like. I can guess it would be as ugly or uglier than her face. She is one ugly piece of crap. Yuck! I feel like vomiting.

God bless Fiji from these idiotic clowns that think they are running the country. Ujeir time will come.

People of Fiji, don't let these guys escapee before justice is done. They have to pay for their corrupt practices have made to pay. I am awaiting to
Hear their response.

ex Navy said...

Print the cartoon and paste it all over the place, bus stops etc, and post one to Vuaka, Aiyarsehole, Sharon, Nur Bano and shagging sisters. Now that would be priceless. I can imagine Vuaka packing a hissy fit and issue another decree banning people from distributing material relating to his penis and his one remaining testicle.

People should also start using his new title:
ET Voceke Bainivuaka.

ET stands for Empty Testicle by the way. Classic.

S.Vaka said...

Can Fiji's citizens look forward to a more open and progressive existence under the junta's new PO decree?

Sadly the simple answer is ,No!!

It appears that the new provisions are an attempt to resurrect a future "Constitutional Review committee aka People's Charter" which fizzled out after the 2009 COA ruling which declared that Bainimarama committed an illegal act in December 2006. If one also recalls,the Charter was a futile exercise which attracted conmen like John Samy,Jim Anthony and Serulagilagi whilst bringing condemnation and public shame on identities like Catholic Arch Bishop Mataca and rebel Father Barr. There was also the abuse and wastage of tax payees monies to the tune of $25m and maybe more given the outrageous "consultancy fees dished out by the desperate IMG which included corrupt political identities like Illegal Finance minister Mahen Chaudary, conman Jim Ahkoy and failed chiefs like Ganilau and Nailatikau.

If the Charter is revived under the guise of a CRM,all citizens should boycott these meetings because of the fact that Bainimarama has already been judged to have committed treason and his government illegal.Only his arrest and sentencing remains. Prospective participants should be warned of the shameful stigma attached to such a committee and in particular the sanctions imposed by foreign governments on all IMG colluders.

In addition, Voreqe will be seeking an "Immunity from Criminal Prosecution" from the people as a bargaining chip against the nation who are held hostage by his terrorist actions. We should all be vigilant and vigorously reject such illegal proposals and call for justice before reconciliation.

Corrupt Military officers such as Bainimarama, Naivalurua,Teleni,Naupoto,Mason Smith,Leweni,Tikoitoga,Tikoduadua,Driti, Aziz and others must be brought to justice and dealt heavy sentences as a deterrent to any future military officer contemplating circumventing the rule of law.

Remember to reject Immunity from Prosecution for these murderers and traitors and push for a free society.

S.Vaka said...

Can Fiji's citizens look forward to a more open and progressive existence under the junta's new PO decree?

Sadly the simple answer is ,No!!

It appears that the new provisions are an attempt to resurrect a future "Constitutional Review committee aka People's Charter" which fizzled out after the 2009 COA ruling which declared that Bainimarama committed an illegal act in December 2006. If one also recalls,the Charter was a futile exercise which attracted conmen like John Samy,Jim Anthony and Serulagilagi whilst bringing condemnation and public shame on identities like Catholic Arch Bishop Mataca and rebel Father Barr. There was also the abuse and wastage of tax payees monies to the tune of $25m and maybe more given the outrageous "consultancy fees dished out by the desperate IMG which included corrupt political identities like Illegal Finance minister Mahen Chaudary, conman Jim Ahkoy and failed chiefs like Ganilau and Nailatikau.

If the Charter is revived under the guise of a CRM,all citizens should boycott these meetings because of the fact that Bainimarama has already been judged to have committed treason and his government illegal.Only his arrest and sentencing remains. Prospective participants should be warned of the shameful stigma attached to such a committee and in particular the sanctions imposed by foreign governments on all IMG colluders.

In addition, Voreqe will be seeking an "Immunity from Criminal Prosecution" from the people as a bargaining chip against the nation who are held hostage by his terrorist actions. We should all be vigilant and vigorously reject such illegal proposals and call for justice before reconciliation.

Corrupt Military officers such as Bainimarama, Naivalurua,Teleni,Naupoto,Mason Smith,Leweni,Tikoitoga,Tikoduadua,Driti, Aziz and others must be brought to justice and dealt heavy sentences as a deterrent to any future military officer contemplating circumventing the rule of law.

Remember to reject Immunity from Prosecution for these murderers and traitors and push for a free society.

Anonymous said...

Guys, na levu ni osooso nei Bainiceke sa lai jiji mai kina a ona ceke ena cagi katakata odra a dosi.
a levu ni odra domi a Turaganivalu sa vuce mai kina a ona boci.

a cava meta vala koi keda a kaiviji? a taro iei meta tarogi komisina mai Nausori kina.

Me Bula ga ko Viti.

Anonymous said...

Hey, this Fijian definitely carry
a BIG STICK!!! Look, Aussie & NZ are two countries that had to learned the hard ways! They tested
his longevity from time times,even
sending their women to carry out their dirty works? The PM proudly
stood his ground and outlasted every piece of meat they'd throw at
him! The Man is definitely a throw
back to the dark ages-where man are
man and women stay home and raised
the babies!

Laisenia Qarase said...

You can bitch all you want but the fact remains, FB is running the govt and he's doing a bloody good job at it, so piss off and get a life all of you.

ex army said...

ex Army
Yes LQ only a fool like you will believe the crap.His type of leadership suits us only (the army) as we are well educated like him and we do like to always receive orders and polished our superiors for more pay rise.We can do anything for him because we need money.We all kneow that without our support Bai will never survive but bro money is all we want

Vutu Lucky said...

Ex Army,

If you take out the pig the world will open it's doors again for us and your kawas will have a promising future. Think of the long term benefit of removing vore....

Can someone tell Sharon to cover the pig's ceke!