#header-inner img {margin: 0 auto !important; #header-inner {text-align: Center ;} Fiji Coupfourpointfive: Royal send up of Fiji regime hypocrisy

Friday, January 18, 2013

Royal send up of Fiji regime hypocrisy

Darling Grubby, 

We are winning the battle. First we have stopped the whole concept of a democratic constitution and now we have destroyed all the existing political parties in the country - not bad for a week’s work by two Aussies. It was a masterstroke of your's to say each party needed 5,000 members. The only party that can achieve that is the army. All the soldiers will be ordered to sign their allegiance to the army party and we are there. 

You know, we have these Chinese satellite spy ships that come to Fiji. Well, one of them intercepted this letter from Her Majesty the Queen to the Governor General of Australia. It's shocking that she stoops so low and interferes in the perfectly legal activities of a sovereign nation. You would have thought she would understand what the word sovereign meant better than anyone.

From Her Majesty’s iPad, typed by Gertrude the House Maid:

Dear Quentin,
I know this form of communication is most unusual but needs must and all that. The situation in Fiji has taken a terrible turn and it is quite obvious to everybody except your foreign minister Carr Crash that Fiji is moving permanently to dictatorship. 

I am going to let you in on a very closely guarded secret which I am sure you will honour. My Great Great Great Grandmother, Queen Victoria, set up a system of spy portraits as a way to keep her eye on the goings on around the empire. Every portrait of Her Majesty in every High Commission, every Governor’s Mansion and every office was set up to send mail back to Buckingham Palace by carrier pigeon. In her day it used to take 3 months for the poor pigeons to deliver the mail but what with the Internet it is all pretty instant now. By the way I hope you enjoyed your kippers and scrambled egg for breakfast. Yes, I was watching as you tucked in.


Anyway, I digress. I was quite simply appalled when the President of Fiji, NellyTheCow and the tyrant Frankly Bananas went on TV live to announce they were ending all pretence of returning Fiji to democracy. I was watching it as I was having my first cup of tea in the Royal Bed Room and nearly spluttered over a sleeping Phillip, when Old Nelly said he was getting his legal team to re-write the constitution. 

As you know I have been Queen for a long time and before that I was involved in fighting Hitler and Mussolini. The Commonwealth has had its fair share of tyrants. The likes of Idi Dada Amin and Robert Mugabe spring to mind. I have probably met more dictators than most people in this world and so I know a tyrant when I see one and quite frankly Frankly Bananas is turning out to be the worst kind.

A lot of them follow the same path. They come to power thinking the country needs rescuing from a corrupt government, they set out to have a cleanup campaign and they have a certain amount of popular support. Then they realize it's harder to govern than they thought and they are incapable of countering the opposition with debate and argument. 

So they resort to intimidation, threats and bullying. At the same time their PR machine makes them out to be the saviour of the nation. They the start to believe their own PR. Now this is where it turns really nasty and this is the point Fiji has reached. The dictator believes he is the only one that can lead the country to a better future. As such he needs to remain in power and he convinces himself he has to stay in power by any means because he is the best thing for the country. This belief is reinforced because all the simpering idiots he surrounds himself with keep saying he is a truly great leader.

The fact that he gets flown to New York in a private jet for the G77 meeting is an added bonus as is all the money in his Swiss bank accounts. But his real motivation is this: he believes he is the saviour of the nation and is too stupid to realize it's nonsense. 

As For NellyTheCow. He should be ashamed of himself. He served Governor Foster as his ADC. His Uncle, Ratu Sir George Cakobau was Governor General after independence, His father in law, Ratu Sir Kamisese Mara was president. 

Great men have stood under my portrait in Government House. Men of honour, men of distinction; great Men. And he stands there as the puppet of the most corrupt dictator of the South Pacific. He makes me sick. And he has brought great shame on himself. His uncle must be turning in his grave and I hope when NellyTheCow understands the magnitude of what he has done, that he will recant.

It would have been so easy for him as President of the country to have ignored the speech that was handed to him as he reached the podium. He should have shown some backbone and sacked Bananas on the spot and removed him as Commander of the army. It was in front of the TV cameras and Bananas could have done nothing.

NellyTheCow came out with some classic hypocrisy. “We cannot as in the past allow unelected people to make decisions for the rest of the general public in the new parliamentary system.” I seem to remember the only election in which he stood, he lost, when his peers did not want him to be vice president. That my dear Quentin is dictator double speak at its best.

History has taught us time and time again that appeasing dictators is the worst approach. So please inform Carr Crash he is making a train wreck of his foreign policy and he is fast becoming the Neville Chamberlain of the Pacific. Tell him he needs to be more like Winston Churchill.

Miniaturisation has been wonderful and we have been able to apply the spy technology to my portraits that appear on currency. The boffins are still working on stamps. But the Chinese have told Bananas about this and that is why my head has been removed from the currency. A good thing too.

I was getting dizzy watching all Aiyarse’s  money being moved around the globe. Switzerland, Cayman Islands, Liechtenstein and even Jersey. I tracked Aiyarse spending locally the other day. He bought a goat and it was not for making curry. 

So Quentin the purpose of sending this email (in the old days email stood for Elizabeth’s mail) is that you need to have a strong word with Carr Crash and make sure he has a more appropriate policy to Fiji.


Grubby, that email was sent a couple of days ago and we have already seen its effect. Carr Crash has come out very strongly against the new Political party decree. Got to dash I have 100 lies to tell today.

Hugs and Kisses


This is to inform the public that this letter is a piece of fiction. However, some of the people and events mentioned are real. The use of honourable in front of a politician’s name is reserved for elected members of parliament. The term dishonourable is more appropriate for Dictators.

A minister goes to Frankly Bananas after the 2014 national election.
Minister: I have excellent news, Mr. Bananas! You won 98.6% of the vote in the election! Less than 2 percent of the people dissented! What more could you possibly want?
Bananas: Their names.

Illustrations courtesy of Discombobulated Bubu. And you can find more satire on Fiji's favourite Aussie couple, Shazzer and Grubby, at D-Bubu's http://discombobulatedbubu.blogspot.com

Coupfourpointfive today also welcomes Shazzer and Grubby as a regular column.


Anonymous said...


Keep The Faith said...

Superb news - C4.5 & the Shazza/Grubby hook-up. Kudos to The Movement.

If bloggers can do it, there is absolutely no reason why political parties cannot either.

Vutuki Meo said...

Good one Shazzer.
Carr Wash needs to develop a backbone.
Flipflop policy reflects badly on Australia.

SEMI MEO said...

..nur!!...we rather not visit any other blog but keep to C4.5!!..THANK YOU!

..yawn, only old rumour mongers ply that “dbb..blogspot.co.nz.

Obvious, the dribbling of that foreign blog is as always a sick joke. This time around has belittled more Her Majesty than Fiji’s Rear Admiral.

As if the UK have a document to call a Constitution?...nur.. and the nz blogger lives in a country with NO constitution too!

Honour where due though as NZ has managed to be listed the most righteous country on earth by Amnesty International and UK remain the shining beacon for Westminster type democracy!

It would be the view of the 99.99% Fiji Citizens is thyat this highly esteemed oasis of hope C4.5 continue to hoses off dum bu blogs and other profanity!

We believe Fiji could live without those kinda blog rubbish in preparation for elections in 2014 and thence after to process the Military back to barracks…thank you very much!!

Anonymous said...

Hahaha...cannt stop laughing at this true reflection of our country and our foolish leaders...Good work Coup4.5 for bringing in the latest updates...

mark manning said...

Semi must be incensed at the portrayal of his esteemed Chiefy, the "pretend" President!

Anonymous said...

Even those on the front line need a bit of light relief eh...gorgeous

Priscilla Queen of the Desert said...

Fiji operating in two worldz - one for the unelected government and the other for the real people.

In their world it's okay for them to be corrupt and unaccountable. It's a rule that apparently only works for them.

"Government is trying to remove the culture of lack of transparency in political parties, Attorney-General and Acting Prime Minister Aiyaz Sayed-Khaiyum said last night,
Responding to party criticism of the newly announced Political Parties (Registration, Conduct, Funding and Disclosures) Decree 2013, Mr Sayed-Khaiyum said there is a need of transparency and accountability.
Mr Sayed-Khaiyum said many political parties would have problems with sections 21 to 26 of the decree.
These focus on accountability, transparency, sources of funds and need for parties to open their books to public scrutiny.
Mr Sayed-Khaiyum, who is the Minister for Elections, said:“If these political parties do not have transparency issues then they would not have problems declaring their assets and liabilities in Fiji and abroad. This is all that is required under the decree-for them to be transparent and to be accountable.
“Perhaps the real reason behind thesecriticisms is that they would have to declare their assets and liabilities. This decree has a very principled approach to accountability and transparency.”
He said that in Fiji, from political parties to many sporting bodies, the same people had been holding on to their executive positions for years and even decades.." (Fiji Sun)

Anonymous said...

Priscilla; QOD in response....
Good one ASK; mother of all hypocrites; Its like asking the thief to guide the bank vault; or a pedophile to babysit your children;

Nig Nogs said...

Way too late for trade union officials to defend themselves, their headstones already been written.

But it's not too late for them to give their support to another party.

Yet I see they're forming their own party.

Are people thinking about what they're doing?

Vutuki Meo said...

Its interesting that Aiyaz is demanding transparency and yet they themselves are the biggest culprit.
Whats with the use of Nur Bano to pay his & Bai's salary?
Why didn't they use Ministry of Finace?
Where is the government audit ( since 2006) so that we can see where and how public monies are being used by awarding Tenders etc.
The lack of Transparency with this govt is appalling

But this is typical of Aiyaz & Bai doublespeak.
I think they have no comprehension of what they are talking about.

I'm surprised that educated people like Mr Carr still think this is all OK.

I don't know about you Priscilla but for me I've stopped listening to these people ( 2 days ago) and I will have no qualms about assaulting this guy if I saw him in the streets.

Priscilla Queen of the Desert said...

Anon@3.47pm I understand your pain my brother but we don't need to give him a dong on the nose lols - he's looking pretty uncomfortable as it is at the moment.

Suspect the issue of Fiji is not one he relishes fronting at the moment.

Pictures and interviews I've seen in recent days of him show him not quite meeting the camera's eye.

Murray McCully seems to bre brazening it out after eating Bai and Aiyars'es shit but Carr is definitely struggling over the the burden of Fiji on his shoulders.

Anonymous said...

Anyone know anything about this? Totally Bizarre

Stop it - Corrections Service
Publish date/time: 18/01/2013 [14:57]

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Stop the rumours.

The Fiji Corrections Service has strongly refuted claims being circulated via email by some individuals that an inmate committed suicide and was brought back to life by convicted prisoner Reverend Epeli Ratabacaca.

The Corrections Service said that there is absolutely no truth to this and they are pleading with those spreading these rumours to stop this immediately.

Reverend Epeli Ratabacaca is serving his two year sentence for sexually assaulting a mother of four.

SEMI MEO said...

Now we are convinced that this name thief "V..Meo" receives preferential treatment for his/her profanity from a junior blogger with in C4.5 team.

What a way to rebuild a nation!...keep it up for we shall harvest all we sow...even in cyberville...but, as always, both are forgiven!...just stop stealing!..vinaka.

Oh...could someone remind that foreigner to all things Fijian; menacing manning to go and do a bit of community work near his home in Redfern?...the Australia Aborigines would love to use an advocate for human right like this menace..Or does he really think that his Caucasian presence in this blog would please Julia, Rudd or his brother in law Carr, and amaze us Fijians?..the only person amused is himself!...itaukei are not stupid !!...oh..apart from a few who lap on his spew in cyberville.

Look guys…fret the loudest you could, these Bauns are used to this kinda Coup…from the ruthless chief Ratu Seru Cakobau to his Baun descendents Ratu Epeli Nailatikau and Ratu Voreqe Bainimarama.

The rest of 99.99% keep focusing on the 2014 elections, get our reps into parliament..process the Military to Barracks…even if that takes 2 -3 post Coup terms of Parliament.

Goodness!!..the energy wasted in the stratosphere ping pong game !..if only directed away from personal attacks and egocentric stupidity, and channelled to rebuilt our sanity and prosperity?...is that a big ask?...not to us 99.99% Fiji Citizens!

Anonymous said...


Ubuti rau mada na kai Bau qori...Nailatikau and Voreqe dou vei vutu.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Shiu Prasad said...

ASK, Bainimarama and the military government should be transparent and be accountable to the people. They should open their books.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

@ 4p.m. Not another con job by the steam-bath healer. Did the inmate actually die or was he just passed out then revived?

Anonymous said...

OMG!! what a beautiful BIG mouth you have Sharon!! I could do a LOT of things to it!! [Like keeping it shut ie 'Occupied!!]

Anonymous said...

Hello, rau sega ni kai Bau o rau na dauso 'qo!!
E dua e kai Toga Matanisiga ka dua e kai loma [O'connor]!!

SEMI MEO said...

@Anon..January 18, 2013 at 4:24 PM. Sa qai macala qo ni o dau lai wilika tiko na nomu i vola kece ena blog qo vei iratou na nomu veitinani...

Dua na bula vakaloloma dian...se va evei?

Anonymous said...

Can the royal corgis fess up to what they've paid themselves since 2006?

And what their kin folk have pocketed thanks to them being in power?

C'mon you crooks prove us wrong

Anonymous said...

If they are 'winning' won it's because they have Qorvis, Minfo, Davis and Wulsh pumping out propaganda 24/7, soliciting likes for its Facebook as it goes.

On top of that they've got the well-paid soldiers who now enjoy the easy life who don't want to go back to doing what they should be.

Tikoitoga and army boys are now the country's elite ... there will be no budging them without someone crying.

The people are oppressed but are fighting with passion and their heart.

Anonymous said...

Ironic how these racist aussies ( Davis, Sharon, Walsh) are preaching about multiracialism when racism thrives in australia

Anonymous said...

When u are into HEAVY gambling like Nailikau is into horse racing, it surely shows your true character by gambling your your survival!! Bugger the conscience, bugger the illegality of it all!! I, and only I have to survive!!

Anonymous said...

Theres never going to be any elections. Never was planned.People of Fiji wake up and uprise. March to the barracks and fight. There will be bloodshed but the sacrifice will not be forgotten in years to come. Bai must be assisinated. ASK must be raped for laundering funds to Singapore. Peoples money Blood money. Caeser Lateef.Nur Bano.Faiz Khan.Chaudry.Aslam Khan.Hafiz Khan.Epeli N. Rambuka.Frank.Faiyaaz Koya.Sharon Jonesn.Suresh Patel.Solanki.Punja.Zane Dean.Y P Reddy.Lodia.Pyra Singh.Deo Sharan.Niranjan.Motibhai.Sri Lankan judges.C J Patel.Yashwant Goundar....and the list of the crooks goes on...Wake up and clean our country ..get rid of these fuckers because people like Mara and SM Koya would to turning restless in their grave.