#header-inner img {margin: 0 auto !important; #header-inner {text-align: Center ;} Fiji Coupfourpointfive: Fiji regime 'ready to party' over demise of political parties

Friday, February 1, 2013

Fiji regime 'ready to party' over demise of political parties

Friday humour with Fiji's favourite crooked Aussie couple, Shazzer and Grubby!

Dear Grubby

I am so excited I am holding a Valentines party and I hope, Grubby, you will come as my Plus 1. There will be lots of Cab Shaz, Shirazzer and I have been promised French Champagne. The very short French ambassador Mr Gilles Mountaineer, so called because getting into a chair for him is like climbing a mountain for normal people, has become rather fond of me lately. I hope you noticed but he was making very positive comments about Fiji’s push towards democracy in marked contrast to those other petulant, petty and pissy Western nations. Well he has promised me some Champagne for the party. Or at least I think he did, I could not quite hear him as his voice got lost somewhere between my twin peaks...ah oui oui!

The party is “The Party to end all Parties!” Do you get it? I had to explain it 5 times to Commodore Frankly Bananas before he got it. Do you see Feb 14th is when all the existing political PARTIES will cease to exist? Now do you get it?

It’s so exciting we are going to have it in the Officers Mess at the Queen Elizabeth Barracks. I have also arranged for a world famous band to come and play. The Fiji Village People. They will get Macho Man Thickoitoga dancing the night away and everyone In The Navy will strut their funky stuff as they all Go West.

Party at QEB to end all parties!
I think their lead singer is so hot. You know I love a chubby man in uniform. Grubby just to let you know bula does not count as a uniform.

I have had a really clever idea and I am getting the catering etc done on the cheap. There are now so many out of work politicians they are all pretty desperate and I have got them for below minimum wage.

Mahendra ChowDryNoodle will be cooking his specialityoriental/punjabi/japanese dishes to emphasise the multiracial aspect of the new order.
Ramrod Pray will be the Master of Ceremonies.
Flexible Politics AntHoney will be behind the bar serving Fiji Bitter
Brick Meadows the UPPstart will be in charge of Valet Parking
Roe TeaTime Kipper told me to go smoke myself when I offered her the work. She is so ungrateful, you would have thought by now that she would have learnt that we Australian Fijians are superior to Fijian Fijians.

I am so excited because the invites are from me. It makes me feel so important. Grubby, if you play your cards right you will be able to make a grand entrance with the belle of the ball. 

Aiyarse has promised me a new dress but he insists I have to try it on in front of him (I am getting sideways winks from him recently... could be his new nervous tick but you never know.) I was thinking of getting Queen Antonia to design something for me. I hear She is giving up the law and is setting up a fashion label called Silk & Briefs. I think something a little domineering might be in order for the Mistress of MissInformation, don’t you my pathetic wittle Gwubby? Say yes or get spanked (again!)

Enough about the party. You need to do some more work destroying the reputation of Trash Guy. His latest piece on the Political Parties decree is creating havoc overseas. Kumbumbollocks was having a fit the other day because Carr Crash seems to think that his $1m was wasted on the Constitution Commission. I told him absolutely not as most of the Aussie money went straight into a brown paper bag for the Glorious Leader and Cash Guy never even saw it.

QuorVices have recommended an artist who is good at doctoring photographs. His name is Discombobulated Bubu and he comes highly recommended. Perhaps you can get him to do a picture of Trash Guy with Paula MadeinGin in his judge’s robes. But make sure you keep Paula’s face out of the picture. We don’t want any more blushes from the bench.

Got to dash, the caterer is being so difficult and says he used to be the lead singer of the Fiji Village People but the band had a putch

Hugs and Kisses

This is to inform the public that this letter is a piece of fiction. However, some of the people and events mentioned are real.

The Lead Singer of the Fiji Village People has told me that he will F**king kill the next F**king Aiyarsehole who asks if he is straight?

The Political parties Decree was described as the best thing since slice bread by Sharan Death Singh, who was just given a Government contract.


Illustrations courtesy of Discombobulatedbubu. And you can find more Grubby and Shazzer satire on D-bubu's blog at http://discombobulatedbubu.blogspot.com/


Anonymous said...


rajend naidu said...

I have been called many names by many people but I never thought I would live to see the day when someone like Father Kevin Barr gets to be called an "arsehole".
Father needs to ask himself why that has happened.

Anonymous said...

Can we have Nur Bano do the strip tease dance on a fiji flag pole?

Paula said...

If you call the good Father names, he apologises to you. Thats the way it works in Fiji.

juluumbaat said...

@Anonymous 11.18AM
that's a low blow . don't you know Nur Bano is a very pious Muslim? Even butter can't melt between her legs and you asking her to do the strip tease dance on a fiji flag pole. get a hold of yourself man!
perhaps we can get khaiyum to stand in for aunty Nur!!

Keep The Faith said...

ROFLMAO. Shazzer & Grubby have done it again!

Anonymous said...

If you call the man of God names, and the man of God forgives you, than my friend, you better be ready to answer to God for that.

Because the curse will go down to the fourth generation, you watch your children, and than your children's children suffer, not long now, so Bai and Kai, if I was you and people like you, I'd go now and apologize to the man of God, Mr Kevin Barr, God said vengence is mine, when the man of God forgives you and forgets what happened, thats when God opens the door of His heavenly host to revenge, He can even send an evil spirit to bring on the curse to you.

To those of you blog users, watch what you say to people who fear God.

Let the army party, they will crumble, tumble and fall.

Anonymous said...

EU to hold back Fiji election funds

Posted 1 February 2013, 8:00 AEST

The Fiji interim government has missed a self-imposed deadline to present its new draft constitution, which would replace the one prepared by its Constitution Commission last month.

Interim leader Frank Bainimarama had promised to make the new draft available for consultation by the end of January. There's also been no word on the appointment of the Constituent Assembly whose job it would be to debate and approve the new constitution.

The European Union has said it wants to see the make-up of the Assembly before giving Fiji any more money ahead of promised elections. The EU gave around $US400,000 to the Constitution Commission, but there's more than $US1.5 million that's being kept back for the Assembly and other election-related activities.

Presenter: Geraldine Coutts

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

The Fiji interim government has missed a self-imposed deadline to present its new draft constitution.

Interim leader Frank Bainimarama had promised to make the new draft available for consultation by the end of January, to replace the one prepared last month by the Constitution Commission.

There's also been no word on the appointment of the Constituent Assembly, whose job it would be to debate and approve the new constitution.

Charge d'affaires for the EU delegation in the Pacific, Johnny Engell-Hansen, has told Radio Australia's program the EU won't be committing any more money to Fiji for election-related purposes.

"I'm not sure that I'd say we've lost faith, but we are a little bit confused by what's actually going on right now," he said.

"We see various developments and we hear various statements, and what we would really like to be reassured of is that the process is on track, and that there is an irreversible process that will lead to those free and fair elections by 2014."

The warning comes as Australia's foreign minister, Bob Carr, says the role of Fiji's army should be in the barracks and not the parliament.

Fiji's military has already committed to playing a key role in beyond the 2014 elections.

Senator Carr has told Australia Network's Fiji should take the advice of the leadership of Indonesia.

"President (Susilo Bambang) Yudhoyono has made it clear when he spoken to the military political leadership in Myanmar (Burma) that the role of the army is in the barracks," he said.

"That's been the Indonesian experience and the Indonesians deserve great credit for making that point when they engage in other parts of the world.

"The role of the military is in the barracks."

Mr Carr says the Pacific Island community has some concerns over what has been discussed in the draft constitution, but its main concern is fair elections in 2014.

"That's a reasonable expectation on behalf of the region," he said.

"An election conducted under laws and procedures and regulations that are so fair even those who lose the ballot will still recognise that the rules were fair."
The ABC has sought a response from the Fijian interim government.

juluumbaat said...

there is a reasonable expectation that you Bob carr will show more sense. so far you haven't . you reading of the Fiji situation is appalling!

Komai said...

Please be aware that there are some sort of virus being sent out from this site.

My computer was attacked by virus while I was on C4.5
two days ago

Tomasi said...

Komai - the only virus is from your own fingertips . Nothing wrong with links from here .

Why don't you get some anti-virus from the regime ? They have plenty - they are called yes-men.

Komai said...

Baci if you don't want to heed to what I am saying, you show what a ulukau you are or ululala.

Unknown said...

This is such an old Qorvis trick. It is just a pathetic attempt to scare Coup 4.5 readers off the site.

Komai is a regular contributor on Grubby's blog and he always says how wonderful dictatorship.


Komai said...

Shazzer you are full of crap. I don't ever go on that site. Go eat shit.

Unknown said...

You are sounding just like Frankly Bananas when he speaks to a man of God.

There is a Komai who regularly spurts on Grubby's Sheets.

If it is not you I apologize. I suggest you use a different name

It is a fact that QorVices have used these tactics before.

Anonymous said...

OMG!! Sounds like the party is going to one hell of a KINKY one!! What with those poofters in green shoving guns up peoples' behinds!!
Thank you, but NO THANK YOU!! They are not my stuff AND I am not into their STUFF!!

Rear Admiral said...

ask the judiciary hierachy to join in..theyll love it...fijis claim for fame is that since sir tim, the prerequisite for being a cj is to be gay...we are true to non homophobic society...must count for something eh

Anonymous said...

no i think komai is kranky franky alias

Anonymous said...

should be krankys dick in her mouth

Anonymous said...

otherwise put komais dick instead...come on 4.5 yur guys can do better graphics than that!!

Anonymous said...

The Trio will do a good job of stripteasing for Baini and musketeers; Nur Bano, Shameem and Lailun Khan the greasers and suckers; shame on you 3

Anonymous said...

Guys seems like virus is coming from C4.5 site. Just received the following email from RFMF. strongly recommend everyone to ignore this email.


You have just received a RFMF virus. Since we are not so technologically advanced in FIJI, this is a MANUAL virus that was developed with the help of our tinted friends from china. Please delete all the files on your hard disk yourself and send this mail to everyone you know.

Thank you very much for helping me.
RFMF hacker
QEB Suva Fiji

Mukesh said...

Tell those ulukaus we'll give them a virus and their M16 won't fire

Anonymous said...

"Haven't lost faith" -- are you kidding me? Only newcomers to Fiji who haven't studied the political developments of the past few years would still put any faith in Bainimarama's promises. It's only confusing if you take the regime at its word. If you understand that Bainimarama is an inveterate liar who is only intent on saving himself from arrest for murder and treason, then all becomes crystal clear.

Anonymous said...

Yes this is same racist Komai who comments on Graham Davies blog site Grubsheet. Ben Naliva tests his sona interogation skills on Komai's rear.

Anonymous said...

The only virus being spread is the one passed from soldiers screwing each other's assholes.

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