#header-inner img {margin: 0 auto !important; #header-inner {text-align: Center ;} Fiji Coupfourpointfive: Fiji's air head welcomes new airbus

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Fiji's air head welcomes new airbus

Weekend humour about Fiji's cheapest imports from Australia, Shazzer and Grubby and their vacuous friends
 Darling Grubby,
I woke up this morning and I was amazed by the silence that greeted me. I was puzzled for a moment and then I realized that today really was first day of the 1,000 Year Banana’s Rule. There were no politicians making noise in the papers or on the radio. I know with my censorship they could not make much of a sound but you would be surprised how noisy they all were with their constant moaning about Poverty and Human Rights.

Grubby this is an exciting day. For the first time in its history as an independent country there is not one single Political Party. We have won and Frankly Bananas has already jetted off to celebrate for a Valentines break with Merely in Paris. He is in fact flying to France to be measured for his seat on the new Airbus. As he will be using 1st Class more than anyone else they are going to build a seat especially to his measurements. He sent me a picture. 



 
 All we need to do is persuade the International Community that life under Frankly Bananas is all that every Fijian could possibly want. It is time to implement my cunning strategy of ‘Disguised Dictatorship = Guided Democracy’

You missed the workshop where I went into this in detail but in brief we are going to continue as a Dictatorship but disguised in such a way we will call it a Democracy. As a Democracy we will be welcomed into the arms of the International community. 


I have already had the arms of Murray McFolly welcoming me and I think I prefer to stay a pariah personally. In the Disguised Dictatorship we will have full elections, a parliament which will be new and a free press and independent judiciary as we currently have. 

There will be a fully democratic system for the world to see. But to make it an even better democracy the Dictator will remain in power and will tell the voters who to elect, the politicians what to say, the journalists what to write and the judges who to convict.

We obviously could not call it a Disguised Dictatorship and so we have decided to call it a Directed Democracy. 
Kumbumbollocks has been doing the rounds of the Pacific Foreign Ministers and he has been floating the idea the best way forward for Fiji is a Directed Democracy. They all seem to like the idea. I think to be honest nobody gives a shit about the realities on the ground in Fiji. But if the politicians can go back to their countries and say it looks like a democracy it sounds like a democracy it must be a democracy they will be happy. 

Carr Crash has as good as said to us if we give the nod to Namosi and let Australia start plundering Fiji, Frankly and Merely will be allowed into Sydney for monthly shopping sprees. I can’t wait as my stock of duty free fags and cheap plonk is running low. 

We do have to make it look convincing and that is where you come in my little Grubby Grog Swiper. You are going to need cut down on your usual 4 bottles of plonk a night and turning up for work at 11.00 am. I am going to need you in my office at 8.00 every morning and no Grubby my bedroom does not count as the office. 

First we have to silence all opposition. We are nearly there as there are no politicians left. The only noise is coming from Fresh ChowDryNoodles on Facebook. He has become a real pain the Aiyarse with his constant references to Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela and Mahatma Gandhi. The other person who needs to put a sock in it is ShameonYou All of the Fiji Women’s Crisis Centre. 
I am going to leave these 2 little jobs to you and your mates at QorVice. You have a completely free hand in how you handle it but nothing can be traced back here. Looking at ChowDryNoodles Facebook page he seems to like furry animals so you might think about kidnapping his dog. He also likes incredibly bad jokes so be careful he does not ROFLMAO when you walk in the room. Better still get Paula MadeInGin, the alchoholic, shoeshine boy molesting judge, to lock him up on a trumped up charge and throw away the key.

Whilst you are working on shutting people up, I am going to be working on getting people to come out and support the Glorious Leader. We have not had enough images in the Press of the Glorious Leader driving through Suva with the streets lined with cheering people. I am going to make sure the Minister of Education puts cheering the leader down as part of the National Curriculum. I am sure FNU could be persuaded to do a degree in Cheerleading. 

The Glorious Leader used his loaf and has been visiting Bread Bank at their head office in Paris this week. They have a lot of experience in helping all those African Dictators launder their billions through the system so there should be no problem in sorting out The Glorious Leader’s millions. His timing was not the best. He had to leave Fiji before the Chinese New Year and he loves to receive those bulging red envelopes.  

Talking of bulging envelopes I got a farewell email from Livid Flogger saying thanks for the memories and he was off now as the Airbus Brown paper bag had arrived. His parting words were “Look on the bright side every cloud has a Silver Airways Lining.”
Hugs and Kisses

Shazzer
This is to inform the public that this letter is a piece of fiction. However, some of the people and events mentioned are real.
If you put a Banana in an electric chair you will get Banana Fritters in less time than it takes you to say “The Dictator is Dead. Long Live Democracy!”
 Livid Flogger was in Fiji for less than 3 years. In that time he added over $1bn in foreign debt. That’s another record of which the Bananas Republic can be proud.

Illustrations courtesy of Discombobulatedbubu. More Grubby and Shazzer satire on D-bubu's blog at http://discombobulatedbubu.blogspot.com/

32 comments:

Seafish said...

why don't bainimarama and AG RECONCILE WITH THE PEOPLE IN ALBERT PARK. like from what is mentioned above looks like everyone butako. so why don't we reconcile at Albert park. then offer them immunity[bai &army].release all political prisoners ,from George, qarase , qaranivalu,silatolu, etc. then stop all political prosecution like its is going on. targeted prosecution. everyone should be prosecuted the same. then just apologies to the chiefs and vanua , for disbanding there body, and just inform them that we Fijians a educated now, can take care of our self but we still respect them and honor them . and tell them if when election comes , the govt will do a referendum and that will decide, if GCC to come back or no. i mean that's fair for everyone.
then we head to election and choose the next PM & govt.

ALSO THE CHIEFS TO DO A MATANIGASAU FOR WRONGFULLY SUPPORTING RABUKA AND THOSE CHIEF WHO DO SUPPORT 2000 EVENTS . AND BAI TOO TO DO HIS MATANIGASAU. TO US ALL.

lets forgive each other and move on , no more hard feelings and now use the new law brought from overseas and make sure anyone break this one , end up in prison.
the Methodist church too should also do his matanigasau to the members for leading them the wrong way during rabukas coup and the year 2000. and lets just all accept that and the church. no more Sunday ban and christian state. lets be secular and have a referendum of a christian state , to decide whether a christian state or not, if 90% want christian state in referendum , then approve , if not then , its no.

BANANA DEMOCRACY said...

Simply the Best! banana deomocracy cum....vote for me if you wanna live in Fiji...

TALIBAN DEMOCRACY DIRECTORS said...

MUSLIM HIT LIST OF COUP BENEFICIARIES
• Aslam Khan,
• Iqbal Janiff,
• Nazhat Shameem
• Shaista Shameem,
• Nur Bano,
• Nashad Ali (CEO AFL),
• Abdul Khan(FSC),
• Mohammed Aziz,
• Faiaz Ali,
• Mohammed Saneen,
• Saheen Ali,
• Razim Buksh (RBF)
• Nouzab Fareed (FHL CEO)
• Faiaz Khan (Tropic Woods CEO)
• Shiraz Ali, ( FEA manager)
• Riaz Ali (FNU),
• Nizam U Dean,
• Afzal Khan,
• Hafix Khan,
• Anwar Khan,
• Ali Jan,
• Bahadur Ali,
• Lainuni Khan,
• Shaneze Voss,
• Shane Hussien,
• Riaz Khaiyum (FBC CEO),
• Robert Khan,
• Rahmat Ali,
• Gulam Mohammed,
• Faizal Koya,

Anonymous said...

Haha good one c4.5 .Frank is Fiji me.

Anonymous said...

Chief Air hostess Bai/Khaiyum qori qase.

Anonymous said...

Bitu Kavoro said...

Vakacava me da veivosovosoti mada nai taukei? Au kerea me dua na veibulubuluti levu me caka me da veivosoti kina na kawa i taukei. Me ra liutaka noda vei turaga kei ira noda liga ni wau. Eda lewe lailai ga na kawa i taukei e na dela ni vuravura oqo sa dodonu me da veirairaici ena draki ni bula dredre eda lako curuma tiko qo, ke da tawase tu va qo e sa na kuri ga ni leqa. Me rau wili saraga kina o Qarase kei Voreqe, ka me kua ni guilecavi kina o ira era vakaleqai ena mutiny kei na vuaviri ni 2006. Vinaka.

February 15, 2013 at 9:10 AM

Anonymous said...

rabuka coup, result in the alevation of the itaukei , especially the GCC , WHICH WAS NOTHING BEFORE. THE METHODIST SUPPORT DELIVERED THIS. NBF collapse , and many people today still owes money to NBF . like ganilau family, mick beddoes, esala teleni, ratu inoke kubuabola, tomasi vakatora, etc.

mahendra paul chaudry in 1999 to may 2000 , directed that all land lease under ALTA , that all farmers in the sugarcane area, be given F$28000.00 for the expiry of land lease. they have use the land , once farmers have made profit , then on top of it they get again F$28000.00 FOR FREE. for the land . labors promise in the election in 1999. when the coup happen mahendra paul chaudry receive again F$3million dollars in overseas bank account [aus $ nz]

laisenia qarase came in like a saint and did the F$20MILLION DOLLAR SCAM OF AGRICULTURE WITH HIS MINISTER Apisai tora & assit/minster mareieta rigamoto. i say thats the blue print created by qarase [LQ] , MANY PEOPLE INCLUDING CIVIL SERVANTS OWNS BOATS [FIBRE GLASS] FOR WHAT SPEIGHT DID 2000 AND QARASE WAS THE ROBIN HOOD.

TODAY BAINIMARAMA IS THE ROBIN HOOD providing all this service and free goods and services to the Fiji people.

they a just all the same . all butako. the only difference chaudry and qarase came through the ballot and bainimarama came through the gun. there policies a mostly the same. rabuka came through the gun and later justify himself through SVT and the election. they a not leaders , just conman and robin hood of Fiji.

Anonymous said...

the problem in Fiji today, when you do wrong , you try to get away with it or bend the law to your situation. there family uses there kilavata in government posistion to try and manipulate the system and try to bend the system for there relatives and friends to get away from been prosecuted.
we do not want the law to take its cause and teach our children to uphold the law and respect the law. matanigasau is good but if we really want true democracy lets prosecute everyone from 1987 to 2013. every crime . the current people who a today in government should make a choice , a high quality stadard for everyone.

Anonymous said...

the problem in Fiji today, when you do wrong , you try to get away with it or bend the law to your situation. there family uses there kilavata in government posistion to try and manipulate the system and try to bend the system for there relatives and friends to get away from been prosecuted.
we do not want the law to take its cause and teach our children to uphold the law and respect the law. "matanigasau" is good but if we really want true democracy lets prosecute everyone from 1987 to 2013. every crime . the current people who a today in government should make a choice , a high quality standard for everyone.

Mahen 'the millioniare' chaudhry said...


In his 2002 Diwali message, mahen chaudhry extolled the virtues of being a good ruler, sensitive to the needs of his people, including unfortunate people, whom we should not forget in the 'enjoyment of our own riches'.

in the spirit of his message, mahen might want share some of the $2m he raised in the name of coup victims but diverted to his secret bank account. But one can expect to see pigs flying first because mahen is utterly greedy, hypocritical and dishonest. He likes to preach but never practices what he preaches. What a blessing if he exits the political scene because we are sick of seeing his sly face.

Anonymous said...

Is it true that Mere Vuniwaqa has converted to Islam?

If she has you can add her to the list above.

Anonymous said...

Mere Vuniwaqa noqu lewa, is that true? Have you really converted into muslim? Do you know what lewa, the rape that is happening in Fiji now is very new, it only happens in countries like India, and even South Africa recorded 65,000 rapes a year.

I'll tell why it only happened in those countries, because they are cursed by God, muslim countries are fighting each others, and their bad influence is now affecting our country, do you ever know that? Well tell Naivalurua, and Tikoitoga, Bainimarama has to go together with the muslims, Fiji has to be a Christian State,

Vik N said...

Fiji is in dire status and it needs all parties to work hand in hand to salvage this big mess by Frank & co. One mans fault has driven the economy down the sewer with unimagined consequences.

I'm willing to forgive Frank if he sincerely confesses his wrongs, steps aside and let competent citizens troubleshoot our ailing economy.

Keep The Faith said...

Forgiveness costs. Because taxpayers were duped into forgiving perpetrators of the coups of 1987 & 2000, they have been paying a cost NOT of their doing or will in addition to bequeathing a horrendous bill to the generations to come. Is it fair to even suggest that they forgive again? Of course not.

Any such motion proposing to 'kiss n make-up' must be duly presided over by an independent and impartial judiciary and justice meted out to those who have wronged the nation.

Anonymous said...

To anon @ 1.14 am.
You must be either very bigoted, very naive, or very uneducated to make comments like these-traits that are unfortunately very prevalent in Fiji today because our society is backward/uneducated due to political subversion and religious brainwashing robbing the youth of independent growth and balanced development. The catholic community (christians)worldwide is rife with sexual molestation crimes.that doesnt make all christians pedophiles etc. Our president Epeli is a beer- swigging, uncouth, unrefined opportunistic liar who has reached his use by date and should be retired to the koro me lei tei dalo. He stated on four corners live Australian TV interview after the Rabuka coup that he "abhors coups" and would never support any illegal regime (he was conveniently moved overseas when the coup happened so that like pontious pilate, he could wash his hand of the matter and not be incriminared in the entire sordid treasonous affair).Does that make ALL our current and future kaiviti leaders the same? I pray and hope to God not!

Anonymous said...

@ 3:40am.

Whats with you? Thruth hurts hey? Take you well educated nutts, and show Ms Vuniwaqa how to tackle the problem Fiji is facing today, we read World news everyday, of how women and children are treated in those two countries I mentioned, and thats reality.

We don't have to clean the cobwebs, we have to kill the spider.

BAINIMARMA WHATS UP WITH THESE BRO? said...

1. Why the release of the Auditor General’s Report from 2007 – 2012 is being blocked?
2. When will the people of Fiji get a copy of the Special Report of $200,000 leave compensation paid to Frank Bainimarama?
3. When will the regime publicize the details of Ministerial salaries to the tune of $1,000,000 annually each for Frank and Aiaz administered by Nur Bano?
4. When will the regime release details of the tender process (if any) for all Capital works awarded to Constructions companies of Malaysia and China from 2007- 2012?
5. When will the regime release of the accounts for the $5m annual Taiwan Government Grant held in the Prime Minister’s Office?
6. When will the Commander RFMF release of all accounts of Regimental Funds of the RFMF?
7. When will the regime release of information on payments made to Nur Bano since 2007 including the $2m paid for Rewa Dairy Restructure?
8. Will the regime release of information on all payments made to Nazhat Shameem based on $23,000 per month from 2009?
9 Release the Ernst and Young Forensic Report on FNPF. The KPMG report on FSC and other reports conducted by professionals on various entities in which the State has interest of investments?
10. How can Public Service Commission accept as Permanent Secretary a person convicted of murder and has served two years prison sentence?

BAINI,ARAMA YOUR RELATIVES LIST IS IMPRESSIVE BRO said...

MUSLIM HIT LIST OF COUP BENEFICIARIES
• Aslam Khan,
• Iqbal Janiff,
• Nazhat Shameem
• Shaista Shameem,
• Nur Bano,
• Nashad Ali (CEO AFL),
• Abdul Khan(FSC),
• Mohammed Aziz,
• Faiaz Ali,
• Mohammed Saneen,
• Saheen Ali,
• Razim Buksh (RBF)
• Nouzab Fareed (FHL CEO)
• Faiaz Khan (Tropic Woods CEO)
• Shiraz Ali, ( FEA manager)
• Riaz Ali (FNU),
• Nizam U Dean,
• Afzal Khan,
• Hafix Khan,
• Anwar Khan,
• Ali Jan,
• Bahadur Ali,
• Lainuni Khan,
• Shaneze Voss,
• Shane Hussien,
• Riaz Khaiyum (FBC CEO),
• Robert Khan,
• Rahmat Ali,
• Gulam Mohammed,
• Faizal Koya,

SOUCE FIJILIVE: BAINIMARMA TO ANNOUNCE ASSEMBLY IN APRIL IST WEEK....SHIFT IN GOAL POST AGAIN said...

The so called Constituent Assembly was first supposed to be announced in the 2nd week of Jan 2013. It was then expected to start its work in 1st week of Feb. Then, we heared the appointment will be in 2nd week of Feb and the CA would start work in mid Feb or so, now Fijilive reports CA will be announced after teh Registrar makes a decision on the registration application of FLP/NFP. That means atleast 28 days from the 14th, would be sometimes in 13 March. Now that false fraud allegations are being concocted by the regime liches, it would mean one of the two parties will suffer a technical knockout over alleagtions of fraud. In the end, only two parties (one of either NFP/FLP) and ther third party which Ms Vuniwaqa refuses to tell us its name would make it to CA. Another scenario is that the while farce would be dropped and CA with stacked stooges would approve the Khaiyum constitution which would rein in the 10 year bainimarama presidency. SO NO CA APPOINTMENT TILL END OF MARCH ......KEEP SHFITING THE GOAL POST....KHAIYUM

ALLEGATIONS OF FRAUD AGAINST FLP/NFP STAGE DRAMA TO DENY REGISTRATION said...

The allegations of fraud is being used as an excuse not to register either NFP or FLP. If there is evidence with witnesses to people impersonating as government officials, then police should charge those implicated and let the Courts decide.BUT that does not mean the party concerned can be denied registration on these far fetched allegations. Merely, names of the people who claim that they provided support without knowing who the people collecting signatures were representing, then only those names can be objected to during the public objection period and removed from the original list. FLP and NFP have both provided over 8,000 names, discounting the few complaints here and there, there are enough names to register the Parties anyway. Apply common sence Vuniwaqa if you have some? No need to give excuses to deny FLP/NFP the regsitration. dump bitch.

Anonymous said...

FRANK AND KHAIYUM ARE GREATEST CON MAN LIARS.
CA AND CONSTITUTION MOVED NOW TO APRIL.
FLP/NFP AND OTHER POLITICAL PARTY WILL BE NOT BE REGISTERED SO THE CIRCUS CARRIES ON.
NO ELECTION SO WHAT THE F IS HAPPENING IN FIJI.
WHY DONT FIJI PEOPLE STAND UP FOR FREEDOM/DEMOCRACY.
NO TO CA/KHAIYUM CONSTITUTION.
WE WANT LEGAL 1997 CONSTITUTION FULL STOP.
ENOUGH OF LIES FRANKY /KHAIYUM .TIME YOU GUYS RESIGN YOU GUYS HAVE F FIJI UP AND PUT FIJI IN 5 BILLION DOLLARS DEBT.
FNPF/MOMI/NATADOLA/ROAD WORKS CONTRACT/OTHERS ALL PAID OVER PRICE .
SO YOU CAN GET YOUR COMMISSIONS.
SHAME ON YOU REGIME.
WHO WILL CLEAN YOUR MOST CORRUPTED GOVT IN FIJI HISTORY.

Anonymous said...

MERE .
WHO IS THE 3 PARTY LEADER ?
WHY MERE CANT TELL THE PUBLIC REFER THE 3 PARTY AND CAN TALK ABOUT FLP/NFP.
MERE IS ANOTHER REGIME PUPPET.
NO ELECTION WILL HAPPEN THIS BASTARDS CANT LIVE POWER AND PERKS.
KHAIYUM TOLD MC AND CABINET NO ELECTION FOR 20 YEARS .SO HE CAN RIP FIJI TAX PAYERS MONEY.
KHAIYUM AND FRANK ARE THE BIGGEST CHOR.
WHERE IS THE PROMISED TRANSPARENT /ACCOUNTABLE GOVT YOU PROMISED IN 2007.
I WILL UPHOLD THE 1997 CONSTITUTION.NO ARMY WILL BENFIT.
F LIAR CONMEN
DONT WORRY GOD IS WATCHING YOU WILL END UP LIKE OSAMA/SADAM/GADAFFI OR WORST AND BURN IN HELL.
PEOPLES PRAYERS AND CURSE WILL HIT YOUR GENERATION FOR YEARS.
PEOPLE ARE SUFFERING IN SILENCE.
GOD HAVE MERCT ON OUR PEOPLE NOT THE REGIME.

Anonymous said...

FRANK AND KHAIYUM YOUR BAD DAYS WILL COME.
WHAT YOU DO ONTO OTHERS SHALL BE DONE ONTO YOU.
THATS GODS WORDS.
TIME TO REPENT NOW BEFORE ITS TOO LATE.
ALL DICTATORS ARE FALLING NOW.SOON YOU WILL FALL.
NO ONE CAN RULE FOREVER.LOOK AT RABUKA HE FELL TOO
PEOPLE WILL FORGIVE YOU IF YOU REPENT AND LET THE ELECTION HAPPEN AS PER LEGAL 1997 CONSTITUTION.
IF NOT YOU WILL END UP IN JAIL ONEDAY.
FIJIAN WILL RAISE UP AND YOU WONT BE ABLE TO RUN AND HIDE THIS TIME.YOU WILL BE ARRESTED AND FACE THE COURT.
PEOPLE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU/KHAIYUM LIES.

Vutuki Meo said...

@Seafish and Bitukavoro.
I'm amazed that after 6 years of observing Bainimarama you two still can't figure out the mentality we are dealing with.

Here it is : "BAINIMARAMA WILL NEVER APOLOGISE"

Sorry to say but the only time Bai will appologise is when he has a gun to his head.

Infact, can't you see the little games he's playing.
"We'll do constitution... then no constitution".
"Political parties...must be new parties."
then "Parties must have Kaivalagi names because Indian name or fijian name is Inferior..."
"Constituion Assembly in January.... then February... then now March."

GAMES GAMES GAMES, that's all it is to Bainimarama. The guiy is EVIL.
If Bainimarama says he's going to do matanigasau, I can tell you right now it will be just another GAME!
OK

Bitukavoro and Seafish You Two Should wake up!
I think you two should STOP DREAMING and realise that this arsehole is never gonna go away unless you put a bullet in his head.

Seafish said...

@vutuki meo

thank you for your answers, i was just trying to give an idea , that can save fiji, without violence, such as killing , looting, burning,stealing. i am not a coward, its just i do not want to do bad stuff to people and there property.

anyway the united nation does not allow political assassination. the united states government also does not do political assassination.

so the killing vutuki meo , you have to do it alone and also take the consequence. may be you will prosecuted here or taken to the Hague in Netherlands , just like gadfahis sons , but if you want to do killings like that you also be prepared for its consequence.

Anonymous said...

Young people (18 - 30 yers old) are content with life in Fiji. Just see the niteclubs, Village cinemas, shopping malls etc.
Why would they protest?
There has to be reason to march and protest...!!!
And if you are happy with life (good entertainment and parties) then why protest.
Its the urbanites who will protest if they are unhappy..!!!
Forget about the rural dwellers...they only take directions from the Church.
Hence, if there is "food on the table"...no reason to protest...!!!

Anonymous said...

@anon 1.11pm Boci you must be a five year old. You the kind of person that looks the other way or trys to cover up even if your sister gets raped or abused. Don't write on this blog if you are underage, Baku! How can we be content? You naive idiot!!

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous 1:57 PM

Seems you want everyone to be like you, tuff, I'm content as well as 1:11 PM and I'm well over that age bracket.

No doubt you will now jump up and down thinking this is unfair and accuse me of being a goverment supporter, someone that works for them, or naive, or an an idiot but you will be wrong yet again.

Anonymous said...

@Anon 1.57pm another boci don't come in here with your naive view of Fiji you still in a box.Baku!
And tell your friends to stop cut and paste all over the Blog Site! Nut!

Anonymous said...

Wheres Mr.Meo when we need him!! Come on!

Vutuki Meo said...

@Seafish
Dictators never apolgise.
Pinochet never apologised.
Saddam Hussein never apologised.
Qaddaffi never apologised.
Robert Mugabe has never apologised.
So why do we expect Bainimarama to apologise.

I was a pacifist too like you, but then I've seen the corruption, the killings Bainimarama ordered, the increase in rape of babies and suicide of young people, so last month I've decided that there is no other way but to take this guy out.

We either do it now or we will be forced to do it in the future.
Your choice.

I'm not calling you a coward .
I'm just saying we have to be practical.
The Fiji Judiciary will always side with him.
So what option do we have?

You will find that Bainimarama will string the Political Parties along making them think there is going to be an election, when in fact there wont be any.

I'm usually a laid back pacifist but the facts are before me and I don't see any other option.
Bainimarama and Kaiyum need to be executed now before they do more damage to the Fijian race.

Anonymous said...

Well said 'Vutuki Meo'. Aiyarse is battling the citizens with decrees, while Frank's army are on standby.

Who will be our Moses to lead us out of this tyranny?