#header-inner img {margin: 0 auto !important; #header-inner {text-align: Center ;} Fiji Coupfourpointfive: Fiji's illegal leader 'off the meds'

Friday, February 8, 2013

Fiji's illegal leader 'off the meds'

Friday satire with Fiji's favourite cheap imports, Shazzer and Grubby


Darling Grubby, 
Thank you so much for the lovely sexy see through clothes you gave me. I look absolutely gorgeous in it don’t  I?

Talking of being seen through, we have excelled ourselves lately and completely kept the more stupid decisions of the regime hidden from the people of Fiji. They can talk about them all they like on the Internet and in the coffee shops of Sydney but they are not going to be talking about it in Suva.

I was in Washington this week for a meeting with Qorvis and we had a workshop on how to hide information but not be seen doing it. It had some clever name like the “The Opaqueness of transparency”. It was pretty good but I can tell you the tax payers of Fiji paid through the nose for that workshop and first class travel and hotels does not come cheap any more. 

I just want to give you a refresher on the best ways to hide the truth from the people of Fiji.

1. The Long Bullshit Explanation.
Aunty NURvous ALIen explained it me why it was not necessary for the Government to release any figures. A Democracy is like a public listed company and you have a duty to inform shareholders of the numbers. A Dictatorship is like a private company and the public have absolutely no rights to see how their money is spent. It’s not as if we expect KountTheCash Pooh City to tell us his true salary and similarly we should not expect Frankly Bananas to reveal how much he is paid. 


2. The Empty Promise to do something in the future
The True Leader Aiyarse announced last week that he would reveal Government Salaries in a few months time. He has absolutely no intention of revealing salaries and hopes that the people will have moved on to other issues.

3. The half truth
I was really pleased with this statement I made at Marc Edge’s seminar. I told journalists to “report fully and without fear or favour” and to not use the Media Decree “as an excuse not to do their jobs.” It is true PER has been removed and there is no decree stopping them from writing what they want. But I terrify all the journalists and not one of them will write an article if they think it will offend me. The same goes for you my little Grubby but I suspect in your case you are worried about the Qorvis checks drying up.

4.     The Outright Lie
When the Fiji TV Licence fiasco was at its height I went on air and said they had been given their Licence. It was completely untrue but the media including Fiji TV were all too scared to point out the lie.

5.  Lying by Omission
This piece in the Fiji SUNk saying the Constitution is on track. “The draft constitution was always intended to be issued when the Constituent Assembly sits, which is scheduled for later this month, February. The document is in the final stages and will be ready to present to the Constituent Assembly when it meets,” Government told the Fiji Sun. It completely ignores the fact that The Glorious Leader said the new Constitution would be ready in January.

6.  Repeating something so often that it must be true.
We will have Fiji’s first true democracy of 1 person, 1 vote, 1 value. That sounds really good and the people are beginning to believe they have never had democracy before in Fiji. But little do they know that 1 person refers to Commodore Frankly Bananas and 1 Vote refers to his powers as the Executive President of the Bananas Republic of Fiji. 

7.     Creating a wholly different reason for an action.
Grubby you did really well here over the Trash Guy Constitution. Everyone knows the reason we got rid of the Cash Guy constitution was because it gave the power back to the people and send the army back to barracks. But you excelled yourself with a list of reasons as to why it was inappropriate.
1- Ghai was not independent
 2- Ghai was breaking the law
 3- It was too expensive to have 71 MPs
 4- It was undemocratic
 5- It will devastate Fiji financially thanks to changes in Natadola and Momi decrees
 6- It would take too long to debate.
Really good job Grubby. 

8. Justification of Stupid Actions.
This is Crazy Walsh’s forte. “But, with respect, Fr Barr should have known better.  The PM is not familiar with the subtleties of the English language and often reacts too quickly to what he sees as personal insult.” That is just a classic cover up as The Glorious Leader made a wholly unwarranted attack on Father Barr.

Frankly Bananas is Bi-polar and so we need to be on the lookout for more of these outbursts. He has decided he is perfectly OK and so is off the meds.

Grubby with these techniques the people of Fiji need never hear the truth again.
Hugs and Kisses

Shazzer

This is to inform the public that this letter is a piece of fiction. However, some of the people and events mentioned are real. 

Illustrations courtesy of Discombobulatedbubu. More Grubby and Shazzer satire on D-bubu's blog at http://discombobulatedbubu.blogspot.com/


44 comments:

Anonymous said...

Editor - congratulations as you predicted a month ago. Air Pathetic CEO is indeed leaving Fiji....your intellengnce is second to none...FBI....level read below...Pflieger to leave Air Pacific

14:25 Today




Taken from/By: Google
Report by: Rita Narayan

Air Pacific Managing Director and Chief Executive, David Pflieger will leave the airline when he completes his three-year contract in May.

The airline’s Chairman, Nalin Patel announced Pflieger’s decision to leave and return to the United States at the end of his term.

In a statement Patel said the Board would immediately begin the recruitment process for the next managing director and CEO.

Patel said Pflieger skillfully guided the airline through one of the most remarkable turnarounds in the airline industry.

He said Air Pacific is now profitable and extremely well-positioned for future growth and success.

The airline will be completely re-branded and restored to its 1960’s name of Fiji Airways as well as take delivery of three A330s this year.

Muslim Fucker said...

Bainimarma mother fucker - another bridge closed due to no money bhaiya sa lega chiko re.....boci...three bridges now clsoed fuck the muslims fucking fiji up...

Anonymous said...

I note with much concern a report in todays Fiji times showing a proud chair of Yaqara Pastoral Company giving Mr SKhaiyum a dividend cheque of $1.22 million. This is a massive payment of dividend to be made by a government owned company. My question is, how much of this is directly attributable to Yaqara operations and how much is attributable to royalties derived from Fiji Water sales. I would venture to think that at least 90% of this amount is related to Fiji Water. If this is the case, my question to Drysdale and the government is how efficient is YPCL, and how will the Fiji Water income be treated in the company's account. In the past years, this income stream has been mischievously treated as operational income. Since most of this royalty is derived form the Yaqara land, a big chunk of it should go back towards developing the infrastructure and ammenities in the local region. Come on Yaqara board, you did nothing to earn that $1.2 m. Its mostly from Fiji Water. So what exactly are you doing and returning commercially sensible results. And to Kyuum, do I hear a vote of thanks owing to Fiji Water?

Anonymous said...

The Dear Grubbies will be serialised and become classic reading.

Will there be a day in the future when we will be able to look back on all of this and WONDER.

Was this us?

I suppose no more than when we look back at "lovo's" under Ratu Sakuna's Statue and when parliament house became a house of abomination.

Anonymous said...

will they shoot him when he gets back to us of a for buying airbus and screwing boeing.

we are making profits? without one new plane in the air.......so why the airbus purchase. we miss having the best aircraft on the planet in our fleet.

Anonymous said...

Update: 1:27PM AIR Pacific managing director and chief executive officer David Pflieger has notified the airline's board of his decision to leave the airline and return to the United States.

Board chairman Nalin Patel made this announcement via a statement a short while ago.

Mr Pflieger's three-year contract will expire in May this year.

Mr Patel also announced that the board would immediately begin the recruitment process for Mr Pflieger's successor.

Anonymous said...

What absolutely wonderful news that David Pflieger has been given his marching orders.
Staff at Air Pacific and the Fiji Tourism will be thrilled.

Anonymous said...

We at Air Pacific are celebrating already!
we are "over the moon" even the executives are so happy to see him go.

Anonymous said...

Well Yaqara Board, lets hope you are not cooking the books. Acknowledge that al your other operating division are running at a loss.

I would imagine that you do have a qualified chartered accountant who belongs to the Fiji accountants body - Fiji Congress of Accountant? Can the congress check what sort of accounting standard Yaqara adopts.

Remember your organisation's emblem includes the words' "Na DIna Ga" which means " Only the Truth". However if the phrase is literally translated, it means "The True Duck". Which one are you?

Yaqara, do not be too eager to please this government by not reporting truthfully your operational results. And accounting congress, don't be a true duck. Get them to speak only the truth.

juluumbaat said...

we are "over the moon" even the executives are happy to see him go...
imagine how happy the people of Fiji will be when it is the dictators
turn to go!!

Timoci said...

LOL. Check out the horns in Caption 3.

Anonymous said...

Dave has been preparing himself well before his exit. trying to market his skills on the blog. Its not clear to us whether he's been told to go by the Bainimarama govt or for whatever reason. If the directive came from PM's office, i would like to salute PM for making at the right decision on this. The 2nd right decision to do is to terminate AOG, then you will see all the kai VTs supporting your Govt. Please do it for us the Fijian people . You will be forgiven, Mark my word

Anonymous said...

Ashlam Khan Tip to be next CEO Air Pacific.

Anonymous said...

bring back semi meo into the blog .

Anonymous said...

Peter Mazey partner of George Speight is Chairmen of FSC and Fiji Sports Comm.
This guys know how to get in all govt like Inoke Kubu bola. Qori Qase

Anonymous said...

semi meo come back, so as tattifila , both come back to c4.5

Anonymous said...

CEO David Pi made millions in kick backs in plane deals. .
now ready to retire .

Vutuki Meo said...

@anonymous 7:02 I don't know why you praising Bainivuaka, He was the one that got rid off the previous CEO and then got Pfligger.

Just shows what stupid idiot Bainivuaka is for bringing this person in the first place.

Pfligger is an idiot.

If Aslam takes over Air Pacific then you all kiss goodbye to your FNPF , because AiR Pac will definitely go under and have to write off the loans.

Poor fijian public being farked all over again!

Enough is enough, lets take these people down!

Anonymous said...

Should just give Pflieger enough time for his final briefing to the CIA.

Anonymous said...

the euro's withhold $300 million in sugar money and we turn around and buy $1 billion worth of their crap planes...whats with that?

maybe kickbacks are a plausable explanation.

Anonymous said...

Pfliger will be high & dry when Air Pac comes crashing down burnig up our FNPF money. Smart Crook

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 7.02PM

Frank and David both flew out to France to check out new planes. So undo your masi-polo salute.

What the frick do you mean Kaivitis will support you if you terminate this and that? Not all Kaivitis are as gullible and stupid as you, you immature blockhead. We will support a democratic, transparent and accountable PM, not this half school kana loto woman beating priest cursing arrogant piece of shit son of a magaitamana MURDERER! MARK MY WORD ......

Anonymous said...

The big question we should ask is WHAT HAS FRANK BAINIMARAMA ACHIEVED OR DID TO HIS VILLAGE/PROVINCE/COUNTRY BEFORE HE BECAME A DICTATOR? If Frank is genuine we would see the fruits of his leadership within his koro/province/family before he became a dictator. The person was a nobody before he was accidentally appointed commander.

WHAT WAS HIS ASSETS BEFORE HIS COUP? AS WE ALL KNOW HE BASICALLY HAD NOTHING BEFORE THE COUP, NOW HE'S ONE OF FIJI'S WEALTHIEST MAN. So much for no one will benefit from this coup eh.

After more then 6yrs of executing coup in the name of corruption we've slid from mid table ranking on international corruption scale right to the bottom region of the most corrupted. Congrats to Frank and his negative achievements.

Anonymous said...

You would think if he (David pfliger) has managed to do good at air pacific and had confidence that he can continue doing good at air pathetic then he would stay on. But answer is Big NO. Why? Cause this government is about to go down and like a smart crook/rat he has jumping the sinking ship.

juluumbaat said...

Let us face the fact. The 2006 coup has been good = very good - for Frank Bainimarama. But he knows it will not look right if this becomes public knowledge because he executed that coup claiming he wanted to put a stop to corruption in the country and because he had said when he had executed HIS coup that no military personnel will benefit from HIS coup.
But he has profited hugely from the coup and his self-appointment as PM and corruption has not declined. It has INCREASED. To distract attention from these facts he has his spin doctors including yellow journalists in the Fiji Sun projecting all the "positive" developments he has brought about at the local community level. Bainimarama has been dishonest with the people of Fiji. The coup was for HIM not the country.

Anonymous said...

In Fiji you control military head you control the military (control the head you control the body) when you control the military you control government, when you control government you control the people. Kaiyum family saw this.

Anonymous said...

Fiji wants a new start then the only way is by BLOOD!
Kill everyone that is in power right now. Then start fresh.

Anonymous said...

How be become millionare Prime Minister in Fiji - you dont have to do well in school, get a Law degree (Like Sadiq Koya), become a Charted Banker like Laisena Qarase, be a skilled auditor/unionst like Chaudhry or be a medical doctor like Dr Bavadra. ALL you have to do, is fail Form Four, join the RFMF, bully your way into Commander, execute a treasonous coup, remove democracy and media freedom, ban the Auditor General's Reports, privatise ministerial salaries, remove tender process, murder your opponents, and become the millionare Prime Minister, LIKE THE GREAT PIG BAINIMARAMA

Anonymous said...

@editor

bring back semi meo and tatifala , into this forum. Fiji for everyone and every voice should be counted, whether we like it or not .

Anonymous said...

semi meo the heo of namuka . where are you come back to the blog and preach your poltical gospel my friend . show the fijain people the way.

Anonymous said...

semi meo the hero of namuka . where are you come back to the blog and preach your political gospel my friend . show the Fijian people the way.

Anonymous said...

why you missing semi meo and tattifala?

juluumbaat said...

I often hear it said here on C 4.5 and elsewhere that the Fiji Sun is a regime propaganda newspaper. I thought I'd see for myself. I read that a local district police chief was chief guest at Namaka Public School for it's prefect induction event. then I read the RFMF Landforce Commander Mosese Tikoitoga was chief guest at Jai narayan college's prefect induction ceremony. ((How many more schools etc had invited the Police and military as chief guest?)Col.Tikoitoga talked about the importance of "completing secondary education". He should know about that seeing as a good proportion of his military boys are school dropouts. So students -the young minds - in fiji today are encouraged to see the Police and Military people as role models? But what kind of role models and leadership models have the Police and the Military provided for these students to be guided by them?!
The Police State in Fiji has clearly Penerated Fijian civil society. The leadership in the civil society are bending down for the Military-Police!

Anonymous said...

To juluumbaat: This is what the Police and the Military brought back to us after their overseas tours of duty!!
This is what the Arabs and Muslims teach their children. To challenge authority [ through ILLEGAL coups] to take up arms should the need arise [cadet training] and the list goes on!!

Anonymous said...

Boy oh boy oh boy!!Taito and Nagatakaleka must think they are NOT accountable to us the stakeholders of the FNPF!! They have now committed our hard earned money to support Vodafone to set up business in the Solomons!!
The BOTH of you are only CUSTODIANS of our money which is being held in TRUST for us!!
How OUR savings is dispersed, invested and what have you, is handled should and must be decided by us the members|!!
E sega ni i lavo nei tamadrau 'qori se nomudrau drau vei..i!!
E sa matata tiko mai vei keimami ni sa "rub off " talega vei kemudrau na viavialevu ka tiko 'qori vei Voreqe!!
Keimami sa vakaloloma na members.\
E sa neimami masu me na qai KANAQUITA taki kemudra kei na nomudrau kawa na NEIMAMI KALOU bula!!

Anonymous said...

What will happen to incompetent Voss and few other Muslims?

Anonymous said...

Tevita Nagataleka, au sa kurabui e na vei vakaloloma taki o vakayacora tiko vei keimami na lewe ni FNPF!!
O musuka , io, o iko, o musaka na neimami pension, ia o qai kauta na neimami i lavo mo dou laki caka bisini i Solomone??
Au sa kurabui vei iko Tevita!! Au dau dokai iko e liu ni au dai raici iko e valenilotu e na SDA!! Qo, sa dus na ka na noqu dau curse taki iko kei na nomu kawa kawa ca!!

Anonymous said...

Seti!Seti! O Tevita 'qori e dua na tamata dau mateni ka lasa i tuba e na gauna e a se tiko kina e Lautoka!!
E dau vakalasami ira na marama vakawati!! E kila vinaka tiko o watina na levu ni matavuvale e vakavoro taka o koya!!
Na koli e na koli tiko ga. E na sega ni rawa vakadua me viesau me sipi!!

Anonymous said...

Va evei Tevita, au sa vakadeitaka yani ni o a vakavuna na nei rau veibiu kei na noqu lewe ni vale??
Au se tagi tu ga qo Tevita!! Au a cakacaka tu e na NBF e na gauna oya!! REMEMBER?????

Anonymous said...

Tu na da Tevita!! E sa matau bagi vei iko na vei vakaloloma taki!!
Ke o sa vakaloloma taka na nomu matavuvale, vakaloloma taka na vei mata vuvale o basuraka, e sa rauta mo sega ni bau kauwaitaka na neimami vakaloloma taki na pensioners!!
Isa, me qai tauca ga vei iko na NEIMAMI KALOU na itotogi e dodonu ga me tau vei iko!!
Taura vaka tagane Tevita e na gauna e sa tau kina!!

Anonymous said...

David Pflieger knows only too well that his ambitious plan to purchase aeroplanes from Airbus will fail miserably. So before the new planes arrive, he is already making his exit. I will be closely monitoring his attempts to seek re-employment in the USA and will advise potential employers of the rot he has caused in Fiji through the many decreees he help draft and his total support of an illegal and suppressive regime.

Anonymous said...

With Pflieger should go the following other nincompoops:

1. Shaenaaz (fake accent) Voss (sucking too much white cok's altered her tongue apparently)

2. Shane Hussein (another regime kattoo who is unemployable elsewhere but likes to show off like he's some big shot)

Anonymous said...

KILL BAINIMARAMA!! KILL AIYARSE!!

Anonymous said...

For those asking for Meo and tatifala to return, the latest is that tatifala is presently tating on Meo's head!