#header-inner img {margin: 0 auto !important; #header-inner {text-align: Center ;} Fiji Coupfourpointfive: Latest regime specialities: slave trading and STDs

Names and pseudonyms encouraged; annonymous posts accepted in interest of debate


Friday, March 1, 2013

Latest regime specialities: slave trading and STDs

 Grubby,
Still no darling for you. First you leave me for another woman on Valentine’s Day and then just as it’s getting better between us, Qorvice produces another pile of crap and expects me to pay for it.
I always knew it was a mistake to hire white people to work for the Fiji Ministry of Miss Information. They just do not understand the Fijian Culture and they do not understand the Fijian language. 
Look at this press release that was sent to me for approval. Please Grubby tell me you did not write this. I would be so disappointed if an award winning journalist to whom I am paying hundreds of thousands of dollars could get a story quite so wrong. 
Only a complete idiot can mix up I-Taukei and E-Ticket?
Vodkafun extends the $2 subsidised offer
Vodkafun Fiji Limited and the Bland Transvestite Authority have announced that the $2 per I-Taukei subsidised offer will be extended.
This is after Vodkafun Fiji’s initial stock of 100,000 I-Taukei had ran out.
This means there are no more on hand until new stocks of I-Taukei are delivered from China in the second week of March.
The situation has been attributed to an unprecedentedly-high number of people turning up to purchase the I-Taukei.
 Vodkafun head of Human Trafficking Resources, Slaver Prasad, said: “Vodkafun had ordered ample stock to last up to two months at the initial price of $10.  “However, when the True Leader, Aiyarse, ordered us to reduce the price from $10 to $2 meant there was a rush from the members of the public to get bargain priced I-taukei.”

And so it goes on.
We have just had Fiji’s First Human Trafficking case in the Dictatorship and you are making the True Leader look as if he is the Mister Big of an illegal slave trade as he ordered the cut price sale of 100,000 I-Taukei. And what’s worse you make it sound as if the indigenous people of the Bananas Republic are made in China. 
If that release had found its way into the media it would have brought about the fall of the Bananas Republic. Oh don’t worry about it the media would never have printed it!
Anyway, on to more positive things. We are going to introduce widespread STDs into the Bananas Republic.
Basically the Regime keeps amending decrees and that just looks shoddy. It looks as if we did not think through the decree properly and have had to make amendments as people outwit us. The new Political Parties decree is a case in point. So we have developed the Small Time Decree (STD).
These will be small decrees used to fix a single law. Best of all any Minister or PS can develop an STD. They then pass it on to the AG. He in turn will pass on the STD to the President, NellyTheCow, for immediate approval and dissemination.
I have listed below some STDs he has already spread to the cabinet.

1- Herpes of Property STD
Merely Bananas is quickly building her property empire and is allowed to claim any land she wants as Her Piece of Property
2- Gonna Hear STD
All Deaf people will be required by law to listen to the speeches of the True Leader and the Glorious Leader. They will be questioned afterwards to make sure they were listening.
3- Talking from his Aiyarse STD.
Every word spoken by the True Leader, Aiyarse, is wise and full of meaning. Therefore one of his trusted followers will record every word. The following day it will automatically be gazetted as a new STD. Let’s just hope he does not get verbal diarrhea.
4- Aus AIDs STD
All Australians coming to Fiji must wear a condom at all times
5- Fiji Airways STD
All Fijian Citizens must fly Fiji Airways in and out of the country. Even if there is a cheaper price on an alternative airline they must pay the higher price and fly with Fiji Airways. Dave Pflogger told me this is the only way they can hope to pay for the new planes and not default on their loan with the FNPF.
6- The Journalist Question STD
No journalist can ask a question in a press conference unless it has been planted by me.

Grubby I am pleased to see the offending pictures of the Qorvice Boys Gone Wild have been removed from Facebook. But to be honest it is a bit like hiding the bottle of Shiraz after you have spilt it on the white Table Cloth.
Hugs and Kisses

Shazzer
This is to inform the public that this letter is a piece of fiction. However, some of the people and events mentioned are real.
The public need not be over alarmed by the Small Time Decrees. Shazzer has some experience of dealing with STDs.
E-Ticketing is a traditional form of transport in the Pacific and has been used by Island People for the last 5 days.

Illustrations courtesy of Discombobulatedbubu. Check out more Shazzer and Grubby satire at http://discombobulatedbubu.blogspot.com/

48 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dont you have anything better to print?This is not the type of crap I would like to see in this blog.

Anonymous said...

To the racist Indian..

who said that Fijians are lazy..please look around you..look at the progress your family has made ever since they arrived in Fiji. Each and every one of those achievments was acquired at the expense of a Fijian generousity (LOLOMA) over time:
(i) Our forefathers went to war (WW2 and WW2), whilst yours stayed back and make babies lawfully under the guidanace of the British.
(ii) Our forefathers say YES..let them come to our Viti..and start a new life - have you ever as a race say VINAKA VAKALEVU? Never...why?...it is the way you guys are..it is in your culture..your system.
(iii) When Frank illegally took over the government in 2006 - all Indians provided the morale support. However, look at what you guys are doing now? CHANGING YOUR STANCES AGAIN!!
The question is why do you guys change a lot?...The answer is: It is in your system..your culture..
IN OTHER WORDS "YOU CAN NEVER ADOPT THE FIJIAN WAY"....WHY? It is in your system..your culture..your tradition.

paisē kō hamēśā pahalē ā'ō (Money always comes first)..WHY?
AGAIN...It is in your system..your culture..your tradition. God Bless Viti.



Arvind Kumar said...

And if Sharon Smith Jones is reading, then screw you bi*ch. Go back to OZ, or one day someone will make an expample out of your Gora a*s!

ratu frank voreqe bainimagana levu said...

Shazzer (PS sharon smith-john) has a lot of experience of dealing with STDs that she catches and spreads at the officers mess at QEB. She learnt it from her mother who perfected it from her mother!!

Anonymous said...

Excellent humour, great that not everyone is so morbid and bitter.

The most unused brain in the world said...

Ya we fijians lived by kerekere and will continue to do so. we don't want that preserved tradition of ours to get extinct.

Anonymous said...

Fark bainimaramma. Fark his father and fark his army.
Ni veicai na sotia.

Anonymous said...

To the frequent commentator on this website continually criticizing, swearing and accusing Indians of everything-
You are wasting your time. Indians wanted to live as equal citizens , did NOT want to "TAKE"your land or anything. ITS QUITE OBVIOUS equality is unacceptable and as expected , Indians will surely leave- If you want to turn Fiji into yet another black country- go right ahead!
There are 86 Afro-Negroid countries from Angola to Zimbabwe-
ALL ARE IN THE BOTTOM OF HUMAN INDEX AND DEVELOPMENT.
I feel sorry for Frank who realizes that Indians are peace loving , hardworking and contribute 80% of the taxes and development & 99 % of land rents to land owners & wants to give them security and attempting to lay foundation for equality for them . BUT judging by YOU and your comments, once Frank leaves- ITS GOING TO BE THE SAME ACCUSATIONS, INSULTS ETC TO INDIANS.
SO PLEASE BE PATIENT AS WE ARE LEAVING-slowly but surely!
Next 20 years the Indian population is expected to be below Rotumans and Vasus.,so please start working on such foreseeable problems as- where will enough tax money come from to maintain hospitals, roads, schools , or even such a size civil service?etc.What will the crime rate be when landowners wont receive land rents and jobe will be scarce? Where will medicines or doctors come from? What will NLTB or TLTB be there for? Where will your grand children work as jobs will be basic minimum?
YOU (and so many like you) have laid a foundation for your grandchildren. Do you realise that before 1987, Fiji was the hub of the south Pacific and predicted to be the Singapore of the Pacific.!
That will never happen now. Today even SAMOAs economic growth is higher than Fiji. In 20 years we have fallen and no longer the best of the pacific!
PLEASE START WORKING ON YOUR GRANDCHILDRENS FUTURE THAT YOU HAVE LAID FOR HIM. LEAVE INDIANS ALONE. THEY HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING TO YOU , OR INTERFERED WITH YOUR CULTURE OR RELIGION, AND NEVER WILL.
Thank you

Anonymous said...

We the poor people of Fiji are tired of the dictatorship. Bainimarama and hi co need to be help accoutable for the wrongs they have done. BUT I want to highlight as well the wrongs and the tucked up thing the FLP did by getting signatures from people by fooling them. FUCK YOU FOR POLITICIAN'S. You will never have our support. SAYING YOU ARE FOR THE POOR AND USING THEM AS PAWNS IN A GAME OF CHESS. FUCK YOU FOR THAT

Anonymous said...

. aNON @3-37PM "please look around you..look at the progress your family has made ever since they arrived in Fiji. Each and every one of those achievments was acquired at the expense of a Fijian generousity (LOLOMA) over time:'
SEE A DOCTOR AT ST GILES - U NEED HELP!!
I DONT KNOW OF ANY FAMILY IN FIJI THAT RECEIVED ANYTHING FROM THE TAUKEI. Leasing land/shop/house is not generosity OR AT THE EXPENSE OF THE LEASEE IN fact the leasee makes income!. If it is then if you rent a shop or flat- is that generosity? NO YOU ARE PAYING AN AGREED PRICE!
And if humans settled on the moon- the Armstrong family is generous to allow us to be born on the moon , and is we rent out land or shop or house, once again Armstrongs are generous/
HEY CONGO FELLA- SEE A DOCTOR U NEED HELP

Anonymous said...

Yes, why do you print this crap. It is not very funny and has nothing to do with your aims of being an alternative news source.

Dan said...

'March1...3:57pm
I do understand your frustrations but I don't think it is fair to expect the Indians to be like Fijian or i Taukei...unless you want them to totally abandoned their culture...
Both the Fijian and the Indo Fijian culture are special and must be respected ....The truth is there are no right and wrong culture...but rather different cultures...What we need is to value and be proud of our own culture and at the same time respect the other culture....irrespective of how foreign or backward that culture is from yours....Unfortunately that is not happening in Fiji...
Most of you might disagree with me but the truth is to bridge the gap we must learn one another's language...
We cannot use the English language to understand the IndoFijian and vice versa....it is practically impossible....
Talking from experience...I am an I Taukei who can speak oArabic and German ...about to start with French in addition to Fijian and English..

Anonymous said...

FARMER SAYS "IF SUAR CAN DO IT, WHY NOT ME?" HAARE YARRR!


Illegal crown land sales

Maciu Malo
Friday, March 01, 2013

THE Lands Ministry is losing millions of dollars annually through the illegal sale of crown leases.

And the ministry has sent out a stern warning to tenants that those involved will be evicted.

Lands permanent secretary Tevita Boseiwaqa said the ministry was aware of many illegal subdividing and selling of lease lands in the west.

The ministry has discovered that a Nadi farmer allegedly subdivided 18 acres of his expired State leased land and pocketed about $0.5million from the sale of more than 50 lots.

"We are aware that there are many other similar illegal dealings happening in the other parts of the Western Division," said Mr Boseiwaqa.

"The government is indirectly losing millions of dollars each year through this kind of illegal land dealing and we will make sure to put a stop to such activities.

"Such illegal operations are mainly occurring near urban centres, especially here in Nadi.

"Some of the occupants pay $3000 or $4000 depending on the sizes of their block and the government is losing money through a person's gain."

Mr Boseiwaqa said the ministry could not remove the occupants since they had paid huge sums of money. "We cannot remove those that illegally bought the land but we will formalise their stay on the land they have bought," he said.

"Instead we will take legal action to vacate our tenants who are involved in these illegal actions for breaching their lease conditions."

Anonymous said...

THIS IS HOW STUPID THE ARMY IS.

THEY APPOINT THE LOSING COACH & DROP THE COACH THAT WON A TOURNAMENT (GOLD COAST)


Wainiqolo out

Rashneel Kumar
Friday, March 01, 2013

CONFUSION among players has prompted the Fiji Rugby Union (FRU) to relieve Timoci Wainiqolo of his duties as the Digicel Fiji Sevens assistant coach.

FRU coaching director Franck Boivert confirmed there was no need for an assistant coach as head coach Alifereti Dere was free to travel in the remaining HSBC Sevens World Series tournaments.

FRU has also relieved trainer Max Hughes and appointed Aisea Bici for the remaining International Rugby Board (IRB) 7s tournaments in the 2012/13 season.

"And also Dere is comfortable working alone and since he can travel to the remaining legs, we no longer need anyone to assist him."


But Wainiqolo shut his critics up after guiding the new-look national side to victory at the Gold Coast 7s tournament in Australia late last year.

Anonymous said...


Police check reports of some Fijians allegedly meeting Taliban
Publish date/time: 01/03/2013 [17:07]

Police are checking the authenticity of unconfirmed reports from some overseas and local media outlets that some Fijians met the Taliban in Pakistan.

Fijivillage has established that there is no official confirmation by the Taliban and the report emerged from an unnamed source which is now being widely reported.

Police Commissioner, Brigadier General Ioane Naivalurua said this is just a routine investigation into these unconfirmed reports.


Story by: Vijay Narayan

Anonymous said...

Frank is laughing with all these taukei v kaidia nonsense. Divide and rule working.

Anonymous said...

I don't understand what this grubby shazzer thing is or what it as to do with anything. It's also disgusting to be talking about any woman like this. It's all you fullahs ganging up on Sharon like you gang up on your own wives and girlfriends. You think this crap is funny? THE JOKE IS ON YOU.

Anonymous said...

@ Cuckold Anon 6:09 AM

Its so funny ganging up on Sharon everyday hi..hi..hi!!!

MUJAHADEEN MEMBERS said...

• Aiaz Sayed Khaiyum
• Aslam Khan,
• Iqbal Janiff,
• Nazhat Shameem
• Shaista Shameem,
• Nur Bano,
• Nashad Ali (CEO AFL),
• Abdul Khan(FSC),
• Mohammed Aziz,
• Faiaz Ali,
• Mohammed Saneen,
• Saheen Ali,
• Razim Buksh (RBF)
• Nouzab Fareed (FHL CEO)
• Faiaz Khan (Tropic Woods CEO)
• Shiraz Ali, ( FEA manager)
• Riaz Ali (FNU),
• Nizam U Dean,
• Afzal Khan,
• Hafix Khan,
• Anwar Khan,
• Ali Jan,
• Bahadur Ali,
• Lainuni Khan,
• Shaneze Voss,
• Shane Hussien,
• Riaz Khaiyum (FBC CEO),
• Robert Khan,
• Rahmat Ali,
• Gulam Mohammed,
• Faizal Koya,
• Ahmed Bhamji

Anonymous said...

Bainimarama you are going to be killed by your own soldiers before next year's election.

Im a Captain the Fiji Army and there is alot of soldier's in the fiji army that are planning to kill bainimarama right now because he is corrupt....

I just want to warn Bainimarama and Khaiyum... Please dont take this as a JOKE because its REALITY!!!!! And its the TRUTH...... You will be dead before the 2014 Election...

Anonymous said...

I hope his own bodyguards kill the farking arsehole.
Him and aiyarse together.

Anonymous said...

Sharon does your husband know that me and Bainimarama have been fucking you in the the past 4 years????

Anonymous said...

Isa Bainimarama na noqu liuliu duabau, o ni kila vinaka tiko ni o ira na neimami i liuliu ina mataivalu ni viti era sa plan-taka tiko na siga era na vakamatei iko kina...

Kerekere Bainimarama, iko kei Khaiyum drau ka kua ni taura nai tukutuku me kani veiwali. Au sotia ni viti kau sa kurabui ena levu ni liumuri ni mataivalu ni viti... Sa tawase nai veiluitaki ina mataivalu baleta ni ira sa kila nai i naki ni nomu taura vakailawaki na matanitu..... O iko na conman Bainimarama, o iko na mate sebera na 2014 Election, luvei setani o iko.... Luveni kawaca. by Captain &*^&###ta 3FRI....

mark manning said...

It seems to me that Education foremost, Sustainable Development, Accountability and Tolerance for all is what is needed in Fiji. Plus a little Law Enforcement, beginning with arresting those allegedly responsible for the murders of the CRW Soldiers in 2000.

Anonymous said...

@ anonymouse 6.09am, I'm surprised you don't get the grubby shazzer thing since that's the nonsense dished out under their dictatorship. Where's your sense of humour? lols!

NBF debtors still at large said...

Fiji Leaks :
"MINED NBF TO DUST: Viti Mining Ltd director John Sanday owed collapsed Fiji national bank $131,775; in 2007, VML had $631 in bank, recorded net loss of $5,584, and no financial asset. As Mineral Dept processes VML license to mine manganese in Fiji, Fijileaks will be publishing VICTOR LAL's on-going findings into the collapsed bank, Sanday's debt and history of VFL."


In my travels I'v seen this guy and wife/girlfriend travelling BUSINESS CLASS and yet, he cannot pay off his debts to NBF??

Why hasn't FICAC pursued and prosecuted such people like John Sanday??

Real Fijians in Fiji said...

C4.5 is this really what you guys have to offer. No wonder there's nothing else there in your arsenal. Franks going to win and win big. Bless him for bringing about a better Fiji. Go Bainimarama, keep it up, there's nothing else here except some fucked up journalists with nothing better to write.
Fuck you c4.5

NBF robbers hiding behind junta said...

Why hasn't FICAC done anything in the last 6 years regarding the NBF debtors parading around like John Sanday?

If they can prosecute Qarase and cohort, they should already be working to clear the NBF files by prosecuting the debtors who remain at large like John Sanday.


No one can escape the LONG ARM OF THE LAW!


"MINED NBF TO DUST: Viti Mining Ltd director John Sanday owed collapsed Fiji national bank $131,775; in 2007, VML had $631 in bank, recorded net loss of $5,584, and no financial asset. As Mineral Dept processes VML license to mine manganese in Fiji, Fijileaks will be publishing VICTOR LAL's on-going findings into the collapsed bank, Sanday's debt and history of VFL."

Rusila said...


Hot Topics on MSN NZ:
Claims Fijians joining the Taliban

19:06 Sat Mar 2 2013
by
AAP
Fiji police said they were working with Interpol to investigate reports of Fijian militants joining the Taliban.

Although the Fiji Muslim League rejected the claims, police criminal investigation department director Luke Rawalai said on Saturday they were "taking this very seriously".

He said Fijians joining the Taliban would violate the Pacific island country's counter-terrorist laws and it would be treated as "a major crime".

"We are investigating through our channels overseas", police spokesman Inspector Atunaisa Sokomuri said, naming Interpol as assisting in the investigation.

A Taliban spokesman in Pakistan also said five weeks ago that they had "welcomed some people from Fiji" to their ranks late last year.

However, the Fiji Muslim League said that while some Fijian Muslims had gone to Pakistan to pursue their Islamic studies they were not aware of any connections with the Taliban movement.

League president Hafizud Dean Khan said he did not understand why the Taliban would claim it had Fijian members "unless it is aimed at boosting their international image".

"Muslims in Fiji have no reason to be oppressed as our country has allowed peaceful existence for all faiths," Khan told the Fiji Times.

mark manning said...

The biggest Terrorists in Fiji are Frank and Co.

Anonymous said...

For those who are anti indian.

Indians will continue to leave fiji even if the God was the govt.

Chinese will take over and screw the natives.

Natives will go back to villages and admire all the jungle on the idle land and have radio all wars. Tonga will takeover Fiji.
All the best to anti indian natives.

Anonymous said...

NBF Robbers..., it's because FICAC is just a weapon created and designed by the regime to harass and prosecute its political enemies.

Anonymous said...

KHAIYUM /AZIZ AND ELITE MUSLIM ARE FIJIS TALIBAN CONNECTION.GET RID OF THE ELITE MUSLIM OUT OF FIJI.
I FEEL SORRY FOR POOR MUSLIM FRIENDS.THEY SHOULD GET RID OF THE ELITES.
FIJI SOON WILL BECOME ANOTHER TALIBAN STATE.
FIJIAN ARMY/POLICE ARE SUBJECT TO KHAIYUM/AZIZ TALIBANS RULE. MADUA NA KAIVITI.

Anonymous said...

AHMED ALI /PETER STINSON WAS WITH RAMBO NOW KHAIYUM/AZIZ/SHORON /PRYDE WITH BAINI.

connections said...

@ NBF robbers hiding behind junta...Is this person John Sanday being promoted by one Fred Caine; another big mouth loser and fence sitter?

Anonymous said...

@ 11.08am

Possibly, since both are coup apologists.


@ 6.38am

Thanks, that has now become obvious over time, hasn't it? What a bigger mess they're creating for the country than the one they decided to take upon themselves.

Vutuki Meo said...

@Real Fijians in Fiji 5:36pm, aka Bainimarama
If you don't like C4.5 then why don't you fark off and go and read our toilet paper Fiji Sun.
Boci.

Vutuki Meo said...


Bridge access cut off

Luke Rawalai
Sunday, March 03, 2013

THE Fiji Roads Authority yesterday sealed off traffic access to a bridge in Labasa to allow for urgent repairs.

The bridge at Namoli, outside Labasa Town was closed on Friday.

WHERE THE FARK ARE THE ARMY ENGINEERS?
YOU FARKING LAZY BASTARDS.
GO AND FIX THE FARKING BRIDGE AND STOP WASTING TIME MASTURBATING AT DELAINABUA.

Anonymous said...

JOHN SANDY RIPPED PNG PEOPLE OF THE SUPER FUNDS.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like someone needs to fix that vile Vutiki Meo

Anonymous said...

people here want to know why this fala or that fala has not been investigated or prosecuted for corruption.
I have told you before and I am telling you gang again : this mob in power ONLY go after people THEY want to put away . Their agenda has nothing to do with delivering a "clean Fiji". In fact people know Fiji has become dirtier since THEY took over. And, I am not talking about the pollution!

rajend naidu said...

editor,
When I read in 'New direction for soccer' in the regime mouthpiece newspaper the Fiji Sun (3/3)that Fiji Football Association "has come a long way in terms of development" I thought Fiji's world ranking had improved.
But I read in The Muslim Times the article 'Fiji drops in world soccer rating' that Fiji has dropped 3 places and is now behind New Caledonia(155) and Samoa (156). Fiji is sitting at 160.
It doesn't look as if Fiji soccer has "come a long way", does it?
But the regime mouthpiece newspaper wants to put a "positive" spin on things to show itself as a patriotic newspaper to masipolo the mob in power.
But like with most other things coming out of this paper nobody is fooled by this kind of superficial journalism.
sincerely,
rajend naidu
sydney

Anonymous said...

@Rajend Naidu 4:03 PM

Well done for pointing out that the press in Fiji are not so stifled and bad as some accuse them of being.

It's good news to hear that their reporters are free to print their differing views on a subject as long as they are within the realms of realism and not libelous.

Life would be so boring if we had to read identical spins in each daily paper.

Think of the sales, jobs and profits that would be lost if each paper were identical. There would be no reason for some to buy and read a copy of each as many do.

Anonymous said...

Yes, thank goodness for the Fiji Sun. How borinng it would be if Fiji's newspapers only printed the truth!

Taliban Recruit said...

Pakistan Taliban confirm recruiting Islamic jihadists from post-coup Fiji; The Defence White Paper 2004 had warned: “Fiji Muslims potential incubator for Osama bin Laden and Taliban”

Anonymous said...


These are the Taliban Recruits:

• Aiaz Sayed Khaiyum
• Aslam Khan,
• Iqbal Janiff,
• Nazhat Shameem
• Shaista Shameem,
• Nur Bano,
• Nashad Ali (CEO AFL),
• Abdul Khan(FSC),
• Mohammed Aziz,
• Faiaz Ali,
• Mohammed Saneen,
• Saheen Ali,
• Razim Buksh (RBF)
• Nouzab Fareed (FHL CEO)
• Faiaz Khan (Tropic Woods CEO)
• Shiraz Ali, ( FEA manager)
• Riaz Ali (FNU),
• Nizam U Dean,
• Afzal Khan,
• Hafix Khan,
• Anwar Khan,
• Ali Jan,
• Bahadur Ali,
• Lainuni Khan,
• Shaneze Voss,
• Shane Hussien,
• Riaz Khaiyum (FBC CEO),
• Robert Khan,
• Rahmat Ali,
• Gulam Mohammed,
• Faizal Koya,
• Ahmed Bhamji

Anonymous said...

That Bi$%ch at Fiji SUN Rachana Lal is the best candidate to take over from Sharon as the official mouthpiece of this Goernment..
Afterall She will leave as soon as she has made enough.
Rachan has the right size mouth to fit both the 2 dicks in her mouth at once and still type a coconut wireless..

Stephan White said...

These will be small decrees used to fix a single law. Best of all any Minister or PS can develop an STD.


Media Monitoring