#header-inner img {margin: 0 auto !important; #header-inner {text-align: Center ;} Fiji Coupfourpointfive: Grubby: why I believe!

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Grubby: why I believe!

Darling Shazzer

Well you have put me on the spot asking how I can be True Believer of a compulsive liar. Being a master of spin I will answer this in a number of ways only one or none of which may be true.
1)      I believe my own propaganda and I always say the Glorious Leader keeps his promises.
2)      I am an idiot and I believe everything I am told.
3)      I am not really a true believer, I was drunk when I wrote it but in the cold light of day and suffering from a God-awful hangover I regret that I ever said it.

4) From my days reporting for the BBC World Service I believed that Military Dictatorship is the best form of Government. My biggest regret in life was seeing the Berlin Wall fall and the Soviet Union falling with it.
5)      The Glorious Leader does not lie because he believes what he says at the time.
6)      The Glorious Leader does not lie because he is just a puppet and repeats what he is told by the True Leader, Aiyarse. As he has no free will, it is not really lying.
7)      They are not really lies if nobody believes them
8)     Any man who gives away 120 pairs of gumboots to children has to be a Glorious Leader or have a rubber fetish.


 9)      I believe that his plan to turn Fiji into a true multiracial democracy is on track and if he has to cut a few corners, tell a few lies, beat up a few people, jail a few politicians, destroy the culture of the Fijian people SO WHAT!
10) He showed me the video of the escaped prisoners being tortured and said the same would happen to me unless I do exactly as I am told by you, Shazzer.
11)  I am an independent journalist who has won a Walkley and my opinion is worth more than anyone else’s in Fiji and I am always right and how dare you not be a true believer and only says nice things about Frankly Bananas for money. You should be ashamed of yourself and I will get you excommunicated and exiled to Cikobia.
I have started electioneering for the Glorious Leader. We have had some good meetings in the West where he has been giving away as much cheap stuff as possible and opening some minor developments. He opened a bus stop at Lautoka Wharf and I was very pleased with myself how I turned it into a major event.  

“To my Government, there are no “small things” when it comes to the welfare of the people of Fiji. There are no “small things” when it comes to providing the infrastructure that allows our people to work and produce. There are no “small things” because there are no small people in Fiji.” 

By the way my darling red haired Minx I am getting a bit scared and will be spending a lot more time in Sydney. It seems that the beginning of the end of my belief system is upon us. Three major events of open protestation have occurred this week. 



LiceInTheHair GarySay, the true PM of Fiji, was released against the strict orders of the True Leader.  
The United Front for a Democratic Fiji had their meeting and over 250 people turned up despite knowing they would be put on the military’s Torture Watch List. Rockhard Naidu, that rather self satisfied lawyer spoke about the Rule of Law. I don’t know how he qualified to the bar because he does not understand the first thing about the Law. The law is whatever is decreed by the True Leader, Aiyarse. I also had to laugh when Maken ChowDryNoodles attacked the media for only printing what we tell them. Who does he think the media is more frightened of? Shazzer the fiery feisty flame haired vixen who has the power to send them to prison or a bunch of democrats.


The People and the Chief’s of Rewa came into Suva on Thursday and marched on the True Leader’s office. He of course ran and left it to a junior State Solicitor to meet with the delegation.  


I am afraid that the regime cannot allow challenges to its righteous authority go unchallenged in that way. It is important that our leaders are seen to be standing up to this uneducated, law-breaking rabble.
Shazzer did you know Fiji’s Biggest Bank Robbery took place this week. I have not had time to read all about it but over $30m was stolen from the Reserve Bank. What I don’t understand is that the police do not seem to be investigating. Sorry I was being stupid. I have just realized my bonus will be paid from this heist. 
Talking of money I have been looking at past invoices from Corevice. I see that in the first quarter of 2012 Corevice expenses were over $50,000 USD about $100,000 Fijian. I am pleased to see that since I came on board expenses have increased substantially. But you need to keep paying the cheques regularly as a large chunk is your expensive red habit: Wine and hair dye.

I hear Thickoitoga has had a heart attack and is shut up in hospital. Thank god for that, every time he opened his mouth he caused me a heart attack as you just never knew what drivel was going to pour forth.  But from a money point of view it was bad news as I always picked up extra cheques for the crisis management.  

I hope I have answered your questions dear Shazzer. We will have to meet up for some of my expense account red and I will tell you the real reason for my true belief.
Smackeroos
  
Grubby
This is to inform the public that this letter is a piece of fiction. However, some of the people and events mentioned are real.  

The new constitution is the bible of the Bananas Republic. Any criticism will be heresy and heretics get burnt at the stake. Please take note Chatter Sing, Maken ChowDryNoodles, Nick TheBeds and 2penny Barber (those were the days).
The criminals behind the Reserve Bank heist have been named as the Traitors Frankly Bananas and Aiyarse SideKar. The Governor said “They had 3,000 accomplices wearing camouflage who all pointed guns to my head.”


Illustrations courtesy of Discombobulatedbubu. http://discombobulatedbubu.blogspot.com/



24 comments:

Anonymous said...

Franky looks good as a monkey puppet of khaiyum.

Anonymous said...

NO IMMUNITY.WHY IMMUNITY -RERE JIKO.
GET READY FOR HOTEL NABORO .TAKE BKC TO WIPE EACH OTHER BUTT.

Anonymous said...

the great variety of reasons you offer on how he can be a true believer of a compulsive liar will no doubt leave the grubby fala unbalanced and kaanphused!

Anonymous said...

About the FBC TV programme, next time FBC TV screen programmes you don’t like, you can lift up the phone and call them direct. SIMPLE!!!!

It’s OK’ to come and vent here but this would have been more effective if it was done before it happened. It’s taking that proactive action. With every due respect to C4.5 and all citizens of the country who are raising this issue now, it’s probably too LATE. I heard that the programme was being advertised and previewed during the week before it was aired. This was the opportune time for all the anger, vents and frustration to have been raised. I believe a collective voice standing against the programme to be screened before it happened would have made a lot difference. Sorry guys, I’m not being tough on anyone here, like most of you, my heart bleeds when a national TV Station displaying irresponsible behaviour allows such a programme to be shown during Easter Friday. Not in a Christian country and not during THE HOLY WEEK when the whole world is observing an event that changed the cause of the world. This is not acceptable. Does the FBC TV station know the history of this Land now they claiming to be their own? Fiji would have been nothing and nowhere today if the Jesus Story of Easter was not accepted by the first settlers of this land. There are many nice movies & dramas, good Easter story of forgiveness that could have been selected to be aired instead of a Muslim cleric condemning Jesus. Especially in such a time as this when our country needs healing and that can only be achieved through forgiving. How about at least showing some acknowledgement and respect where it’s due. Never mind people, they have all been forgiven. Remember, going forward from here, this is our fight, a fight for DEMOCRACY. It’s our country and our destiny. We need to work smarter and better. One step ahead! Next time things like this happen, bombard the FBC TV station with phone calls and text messages at the same time!!! Let’s open our mouth people, raise our concerns, put our hands up and STAND UP TO BE COUNTED!!!

Anonymous said...

About the FBC TV programme, next time FBC TV screen programmes you don’t like, you can lift up the phone and call them direct. SIMPLE!!!!
It’s OK’ to come and vent here but this would have been more effective if it was done before it happened. It’s taking that proactive action. With every due respect to C4.5 and all citizens of the country who are raising this issue now, it’s probably too LATE. I heard that the programme was being advertised and previewed during the week before it was aired. This was the opportune time for all the anger, vents and frustration to have been raised. I believe a collective voice standing against the programme to be screened before it happened would have made a lot difference. Sorry guys, I’m not being tough on anyone here, like most of you, my heart bleeds when a national TV Station displaying irresponsible behaviour allows such a programme to be shown during Easter Friday. Not in a Christian country and not during THE HOLY WEEK when the whole world is observing an event that changed the cause of the world. This is not acceptable. Does the FBC TV station know the history of this Land now they claiming to be their own? Fiji would have been nothing and nowhere today if the Jesus Story of Easter was not accepted by the first settlers of this land. There are many nice movies & dramas, good Easter story of forgiveness that could have been selected to be aired instead of a Muslim cleric condemning Jesus. Especially in such a time as this when our country needs healing and that can only be achieved through forgiving. How about at least showing some acknowledgement and respect where it’s due. Never mind people, they have all been forgiven. Remember, going forward from here, this is our fight, a fight for DEMOCRACY. It’s our country and our destiny. We need to work smarter and better. One step ahead! Next time things like this happen, bombard the FBC TV station with phone calls and text messages at the same time!!! Let’s open our mouth people, raise our concerns, put our hands up and STAND UP TO BE COUNTED!!!

Anonymous said...

Why I believe Number 12: Because it makes it easier for me to accept the 40 pieces of silver Qorvis pays me.

Anonymous said...

This Khaiyum gandu is cheeky bastard....you and baini will hung..

Anonymous said...

Perhaps training is required in Fiji to teach the people where the "OFF" button is on a TV.

Anonymous said...

How come some fight for democracy and free speech but as soon as something comes on TV that does not agree with their view they start ranting.

How can they survive in a democratic society where all have a free voice when they are unable to turn others off like you can with a TV.

Hypocrites.

Anonymous said...

Thickoitonga is in hospital huh? Suffering from what? third leg is malfunctioning? sa! this can't be news now! It has not been up for the last 10 or so years - during his time in officer cadet training, it was known that the bastard made a female soldier pregnant but got married to another female soldier! The ladies are best buddies!! Now he is still abusing his third leg - the sad part is, his third leg is not only overused and defunct - it is a play toy for their puppies at home when he knocks out from heavy boozing!!!

Anonymous said...

"Civil disobedience is not our problem. Our problem is civil obedience. Our problem is that numbers of people all over the world have obeyed the dictates of the leaders of their government and have gone to war, and millions have been killed because of this obedience. Our problem is that people are obedient all over the world in the face of poverty and starvation and stupidity, and war, and cruelty. Our problem is that people are obedient while the jails are full of petty thieves, and all the while the grand thieves are running and robbing the country. That's our problem.": Howard Zinn

No respect said...

stop rationalising and making excuses. if these muslims had any respect it would not have happened in the first place.
the brothers record so far it is not surprising at all that it happened.
my bet is that it was deliberate.

Anonymous said...

Pio tikoduadua cai tamamu kaukauwa and be a man.

rajend naidu said...

sditor,
Speaking to the military regime propaganda paper the Fiji Sun the Fiji army's chief of staff Brigadier-General Mohammed Aziz said "We will give him our support to keep his leadership" after the 2014 elections.
The military chief was referring to the military coup leader and self-appointed PM Frank Bainimarama.
His pledge of support is understandable. They are after all birds of the same feather flocking together.
But what happens if after all that they are currently doing "to keep his leadership" the self-proclaimed Great Leader still loses in the elections?
The regime mouthpiece paper's article heading 'PM Must lead : Aziz' (6/4) provides and ominous answer.
It sounds like military mafia talk warning citizens that their man MUST lead!
Is anyone out there still harboring the belief that this military regime will conduct a "free and fair" election?
It won't happen. I can't put it any more simply.
sincerely,
rajend naidu
sydney

Anonymous said...

@ Anon 11.52 PM thank you for sharing those profound words of wisdom by Howard Zinn with us. It is a concise summing up of what is happening in Fiji today under the military dictatorship of Frank Bainimarama.

No Hypocrite said...

anon 855pm
free speech does not mean u can say or broadcast anything u want. there are restrictions and protocols and of cours respect for each others views.
dont stifle complaint when it is justified.
but rather chastise the ones who abuse freedom of speech.
this is what happened in this broadcast.
There is no hypocrisy at all in speaking up. thats democracy. dont defend the indefensible. thats dishonesty and hypocrisy.

Anonymous said...

@No Hypocrite 5:14 AM

You are correct and of course free speech does not mean that you can say or broadcast anything you want. The laws of libel and slander control should control this.

But you also have to respect others views and this means that they can voice them as much as you can voice yours.

Can you tell me exactly how the programme abused the rights of freedom of speech ?

Fred Dagg said...

Have been asking Grubby about gumboots promised by the great leader some weeks ago. But every time I ask if they have been delivered to the school children's as promised he gets nasty with me and cuts me off his blog. I ask everyone here to test this by posting this question on grubsheet site.

Anonymous said...

Fred Dagg, no thanks. I don't want Grubby sharing my email address with the dictator's henchmen.

cool and breezy said...

@ 2.10am anonymous

Of course it was DELIBERATE! That is clear to all and will be not be forgotten easily.. notwithstanding their show-pony, cheap, false apology!

Soon after the insulting TV show, came the sly maneuvering for damage control by that SOB-ILLEGAL AG when he quickly turned to those silly catholic women representing their individual political-selves to explain his ILLEGAL draft consti. to their gullible faces!

There's a reason why the compromised, Old Nelly's golf-crazy buddy, the outgoing Archbishop Petero Mataca is no longer on the scene. The Catholic Christian faith will not be used by these infidels and their pathetic "Io-suckers" to drive their devious agendas, as they did with A/B Petero Mataca!

Anonymous said...

WHEN WILL FIJIANS (VITI) WILL WAKE UP OR THEY ARE IN TOXICATED WITH THE GOODIES..

Dan said...

@Anonymou,6:41am
Yes you are right we have to respect other peoples' view...but that view of Christianity should be showed on another day if it is allowed not on the day where most christians dedicated it as a time of soul searching...and reflections apart from family reunion...
Freedom of opinion also comes with responsibility and respect...
I could still remember how the muslims in Nigeria reacted when the Mohammed cartoon...showing...a man with a turban of bomb was printed...The anger of the muslims in Nigeria about this cartoon made them attack a christian village ...
To na me a few..
A couple witnessed a slaughtering of their 7 children
They made a young man wear a car tyre and burned him alive...
There are other worst things being committed which I do not want to mention but my point is....
The cartoon was wrong...the muslim all over the worlds anger and their reaction went to the extreme...
From my experience of living in a predominant muslim society... they van happily share their view against christianity...and be ready to launch their rocket propeeled grenade on your house if a 'Kafir' say something that Islam consider a " Haram"
Again to muslim readers of this blog...You can disagree and share your opinion about christianity...but don't do a coward thing by airing it on tv...instead you should be involved in a respected discussion about issues that a muslim do not understand about christianity...
The arguments being raised can be rebutted even though they are intelligently written..They are mostly presented out of context...picking a verse from here and there to justify their opinion...

Anonymous said...

anon 641am when u deliberately and insensitively insult the religious faith of another. u halfwit

Anonymous said...

Frank is a complete idiot with his remote control in the hands of Khaiyum. He is fuck all without Khaiyum, no brainer, dumb high school drop out. Khaiyum will be his downfall.