We are more on top of things this week. At least you have been on top of me for much of the time. (Editor needs to interrupt this letter: In the imaginary world Sharon and Graham are no longer talking to each other. They have had a falling out and are no longer to be seen sharing a bottle of red together. But don’t worry in the real world of Shazzer and Grubby loves
young middle aged dream continues.)
There have been no chiefs coming to town and the UFDF have gone off to Nadi
never to be heard of again.
Thickoitoga has had to go back to the hospital to have his heart treated. I am nervous that the CWM has run out of hospital gowns - can you imagine ! Ugh - I think I will just have another glass of shaz. Its a bit early but who cares - I am feeling a little wanton.
Anyhow, I thought great now we will have Mo LeaveItAsis, the brainy one in the army, making all announcements but it has been a disaster. They are all IDIOTS!! He has absolutely no idea of democracy, the Daft Constitution or even the True Leader’s Decrees. How could he possibly think it is intelligent to say this whilst the nation is discussing the Frankly Bananas Constitution. “
The Republic of Fiji Military Forces (RFMF) wants the Prime Minister, Commodore Frankly Bananas, to lead the country after the 2014 General Election.” When the country is still discussing the Daft Constifusion.
Everyone in the Bananas Republic knows it’s true that the FMF will take all steps necessary to make sure the Glorious Leader remains the Glorious Leader including over throwing a democratically elected government. I mean - what’s new? They have already removed 3 democratically elected Governments !
I want to congratulate you and Qorvis on improving the quality of the Glorious Leaders Talk back shows on FBC (Frankly’s Branding corporation) The questions have been much better organized. It is a shame the studio is not big enough to hold an autocue but it was a master stroke to scroll the answers on his Ipad.
Have you noticed that mein Ministry of MissInformation has been running YouTube videos of the True Leader Aiyarse explaining Daft Constifusion parts. We know as Spin doctors he is talking crap but I am still proud of what I have written. But look at the comments that some smart arse keeps leaving!
Fiji Ministry of Information shared a link.Monday
The AG talks about how to end Fiji's Coup Culture: "It's a combination of things. It's not one specific reason. It's not one specific reason. It's a combination of provisions that need to be included in the constitution. A combination of Government policies, and systems, and procedures, and attitudes that need to be put together to stop that coup culture."
AS WE ALL KNOW THE ONLY WAY TO STOP THE COUP CULTURE IS TO REMOVE THE GUNS FROM THE RFMF
Fiji Ministry of Information shared a link.April 7
Did you know that the draft constitution includes a referendum provision?
"If you want to change any particular provision of the constitution, 3/4 of the members of Parliament have to agree to it, and then they have to put a referendum to all Fijians and say 'Do you agree with this?' And you have a say whether you want to change any provision or not."
SO WHY NOT HAVE REFERENDUM BEFORE THE DAFT CONSTITUTION BECOMES LAW
Fiji Ministry of Information shared a link.April 7
The Draft Constitution establishes the elected Prime Minister as the commander in chief. Click below to find out more about this:
THAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF THE CURRENT SITUATION WHERE THE COMMANDER IN CHIEF ESTABLISHES THE PRIME MINISTER. AT LEAST FIJI IS MOVING SIDEWAYS
Fiji Ministry of Information shared a link.Tuesday
It may be that three separate parties win 15 seats each in the 45 seat Parliament. If that were the case, how would the Prime Minister be chosen? Find out:
BY THE RFMF OF COURSE. THEY WILL STILL MAKE THE SAME CHOICE EVEN IF THE OPPOSITION HAVE 44 SEATS AND FRANKLY BANANAS HAS 1.The other really stupid thing that happened this month was FBC broadcasting a programme where Shake AtWar Sir AllMadMen committed blasphemy against the Christianity. He said “Jesus never died on the cross nor ever wanted to die on the cross, nor ever was born to die on the cross. He never died for anyone's sins.” Imagine saying that over Easter.
Then RearArse Khaiyum the CEO (Cheating Executive Officer) of FBC (Frankly Boring Communications) made the most pathetic excuse I have ever heard. “It was broadcast on April Fools Day, we were only pulling your leg! Haven’t you Christians got a sense of humour?”
I have been doing my best to stop the True Leader, Aiyarse from seeing this joke. If he ever sees it he will go crazy.
Here is the latest joke going around the office. I have banned it of course otherwise it would go viral, but I must admit secretly it was quite clever :
Why is the Bananas Republic Ruled by Decrees?
Because there is a:
Decrease in Employment
Decrease in GDP
Decrease in Investment
Decrease in Human Rights
Decrease in Freedom of Speech
Decrease in Sugar
Decrease in Democracy
Here a Decrease, There a Decrease, Everywhere a Decrease.
The TRue Leader was telling me the other day there is a big government drive to increase the production of vegetables in Fiji. They have come up with some odd varieties.
Luckily for me and you Grubby no one is making fools of us and our leaders.
Hugs and Kisses
ShazzerThis is to inform the public that this letter is a piece of fiction. However, some of the people and events mentioned are real.
Graham have you any idea who is this Grubby character? I keep hearing people laughing at him on the Suva cocktail circuit.
Illustrations courtesy of Discombobulatedbubu. http://discombobulatedbubu.