#header-inner img {margin: 0 auto !important; #header-inner {text-align: Center ;} Fiji Coupfourpointfive: Minister of 'Lil Pecker wants more bowing and scraping

Friday, April 19, 2013

Minister of 'Lil Pecker wants more bowing and scraping

Khaiyum muscles in on Shazzer and Grubby

 Smutty Jobs

Like Queen Antonia, I also cannot refer to you as "darling Shazzer" or whatever Grubby calls you.  

For a pretty boy like me, there are sexier fish in the sea, and they are all dying to get my hook into them.

I must repeat what Injustice Queen Antonia has warned you about:  YOU ARE NOT DOING YOUR JOB.  

You have been ignoring ME, the TRUE LEADER.

Don't you understand what a PECKING ORDER means?  

Everyone must have a bum to peck, with the Great Leader's bum being at the highest level, which I peck every day.

Have you not heard me so many times referring to 
"Our Honorable Prime Minister's vision is this..." and
"As the Honorable Prime Minister promised in 2006..."  

Smutty Jobs, it is only because an important person like me has kept repeating "Honorable Prime Minister" on radio and TV that no one remembers he is a treasonous sailor-boy who made himself Prime Minister through a military coup.

So it is absolutely necessary that I daily peck and be seen to peck, at the bum of the "Honorable Prime Minister", to ensure his title sticks with the gullible public.  


This is just NOT FAIR. 

After all, I AM the True Leader, making all the hard decisions for EVERY ministry. 

Imagine, a kaidia like me, throwing out constitutional provisions that have protected Fijian land for more than a hundred years, and replacing them with my own Micky Mouse provisions that will ensure I get all the commissions for minerals on Fijian land, while they get peanuts.  

I remind, it is I, a kaidia not an itaukei, who courageously fronts up to the cameras, day after day, to tackle land problems that the iTaukei did not even know they had, until I explained it to them, in my usual sincere manner.  

But I get no thanks. 

My bum is not pecked, not even by a single one of all those ungrateful military boys we brought into Cabinet or the Civil Service.  

So Smutty Jobs, from now on, one of the key tasks for you and your Ministry of MissInformation is to praise me to  high heaven for my work, in all my different Ministries.

I want you to be saying on TV,  radio or the rags, on a daily basis:  

"As the Honorable Attorney General said clearly from basic economic principles……"

"As the Honorable Attorney General demonstrated in point of law.. "  

"As the Honorable Attorney General so tightly wound up the springs for the Airbus to fly..."

You get the picture, Smutty? I may have to stand for elections as well.  

I have two other gripes, while I am in communication with you.

First, it is not enough to point out that Australia has been copying my media laws: you have to also point out that the US President has been copying my public speaking style. 

In all my public appearances, have you not noticed that I look to the left with my piercing dark eyes and grip the attention of the people there; then I look to the right, gripping the attention of the people there.

Well, this is exactly what Barak Obama does nowadays, desperately copying me.  

You need to point this out to that little American Ambassador, Frankly Rude, that Fiji's DickTaters have Intellectual Property Rights on our speech-making and Barak Obama should develop his own style!

Soon he will be copying my speeches, where all he has to do is fill in the blanks    and use the words "obviously, ..... clearly ...... in fact...... Holisticly"  

This is MY standard speech, when I refer to matters which are NOT OBVIOUS, NOT CLEAR, OUTRIGHT LIES, and straight NONSENSE.

The second point I remind you about Smutty, is that part of the job of the Ministry of MissInformation is to look after my image, and YOU ARE NOT DOING IT.  

Recently, there have been FAR TOO MANY shots of me, showing my bulging pot belly, suggesting quite unfairly that I have been attending too many cocktails, while my only exercise is the odd bit of humping to maintain my pretense of a multi-racial marriage.

Smutty Jobs, I need to remind you that had you been doing your job properly, we would not have had to spend $1 million on CoreVice

Unless you pull up your socks, pull your finger out, and begin pecking my bum, we will obviously have to reconsider your contract and send you packing to Australia where you can soon peck at Abbott's pecker (ha ha ha).

I am

Your True Leader
Aiyarse KaiYumYum (OBSA*)
Co-DickTater of Fiji.

This is to inform the public that this letter is a piece of fiction. However, some of the people and events mentioned are real.
 *   OBSA:  Order of the Bull Shit Artist


BC said...

Thank you grubby. Well done.Its obvious Aiyarsehole has his own agenda and Bainivuaka and his Green ants are so busy with their snout in the trough, they don't even know that hey have been thoroughly forked over.

BC said...

SO FARK. WHY CAN'T WE RAPE TOO say the businessmen of Suva.

"Girls in rape trap"

Nasik Swami
Friday, April 19, 2013

GIRLS as young as 10 years old are allegedly being lured into nightclubs, plied with alcohol, made drunk and raped.

An investigation by police found that the alleged perpetrators were mostly businessmen in the Capital City.

In an interview with this newspaper yesterday, the Fiji Police Force Commanding Officer Central Division Superintendent Tevita Waqabaca said Suva had 21 nightclubs and young girls were tempted into these nightclubs with large sums of money, drinks and food.

Superintendent Waqabaca said they received about 30 to 40 cases last year and two for the first three months of this year.

"The girls, after being made drunk, are taken to apartments in Suva and raped," he said. Superintendent Waqabaca said they received a case last week where a Form Three student was allegedly raped in an apartment and the suspect was a businessman.

He said it was sad that some people were doing such things with Fiji's future leaders.
Superintendent Waqabaca said following talks with nightclub owners and bouncers, they said the girls looked old enough to enter nightclubs.

"We are working closely with nightclubs in the country to ensure that they check identification cards of those entering nightclubs," he said.

Superintendent Waqabaca said they were investigating the matter and urged parents to be mindful of their children's whereabouts.

Anonymous said...

what's Khaiyum doing there waiting for his feet to be washed? go take a proper bath you dirty bastard!

Anonymous said...

Donald Singh the man who use to write regular pro-regime letters in the local papers has today written one from Port Moresby. Is he part of the regime team that has gone there for trade and aid and God knows what else? If he is then that should tell why the man was/is such a regular pro-regime writer/propagandist.
can someone who knows this fala enlighten us.

Anonymous said...

On fijivillage he said the Ghai draft had to be taken away because it had some things that did not come through people's subsmission. Does the immunity in the current 'forced' version come from the people?

Why is the 2000 coup different from the 2006 one, they both took over elected governments. If immunity is given to 2006, why not 2000?

If immunity is only from 2006, does that mean that FB is still liable for his approved killings from 2000 to 2006?

Everything that comes out of AG's mouth is SHIT.....wake up Fiji.

Anonymous said...

Police calls off search for the Tui Macuata
Publish date/time: 19/04/2013 [11:04]

Police have called off the search for the Tui Macuata, Ratu Aisea Katonivere.

Chief Operations Officer, ACP Rusiate Tudravu called off the search and rescue effort in the last hour and further information will be released later.

An urgent call was made earlier this morning to assist in the search of Ratu Aisea Katonivere who was missing at sea.

Fijivillage received confirmation from the Police Search and Rescue Centre that at about 2pm yesterday, Ratu Aisea Katonivere, Ratu Peni Vulaca and a Vereniki all of Naduri village went fishing in a fibre glass boat and were supposed to return this morning.

At about 2.45 this morning, a fisherman from Siberia, Labasa, Chandra Deo rescued Vulaca and Vereniki after he saw them waving and shouting in the Macuata waters.

However the Tui Macuata was nowhere to be seen.

We will have further information later.

Anonymous said...

Who's body is it - Really? Frank's or Khaiyum's? (see Frank in picture in preceding story). And does it really matter that they both have the same body and dress like twins? In any event, they both share the same balls!!!

Anonymous said...

"I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon
to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts":
Abraham Lincoln
Knowledge will forever govern ignorance; and a people who mean to be their own
governors must arm themselves with the power which knowledge gives: James Madison
"When even one American-who has done nothing wrong-is forced by fear to shut his
mind and close his mouth-then all Americans are in peril" Harry S. Truman

Anonymous said...

Girls as young as 10 lured into nightclubs, plied with booz, taken to motels and raped ... now that's a good example of "Bainimarama doing a wonderful job - moving Fiji forward"
(quoting a Muslim letter writer from NZ in FT 19/4).

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

regime laand parmesh chaand another Bai bum Pecker sent a circular(goli) memo to civil servants informing them that any future training funded by the US Government must first be cleared by the PM in his capacity as the Dictator of Fiji!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...


rajend naidu said...

News update on Pakistan's former military ruler Pervez Musharraf. Aljazeera 19/4, 3.30PM . Musharraf has been arrested a day after he had fled from the court and is now detained at home to be present within 2 days to the more high powered Anti-Terrorist Court.
According to BBC's Kamal Hader Musharraf the former dictator clearly has "tough times ahead". That is understandable because Musharraf faces multiple cases against him FROM HIS TIME AS THE MILITARY RULER .Yes, the grand time as the dictator - with power concentrated in his hands - is finished.
Now he must face the music for all his misdeed.
He has already been barred from contesting in the May 11 Elections.
Chickens are coming home to roost for Musharraf.
Our own tin boat dictator and his right hand man should take note.
rajend naidu

Anonymous said...

Boy the Honourable Attorney-General Aiyaz Sayed-Khaiyum sure as hell knows the law. He told some semi-literate villagers "Witchcraft" is "Illegal". what about the coup?

Anonymous said...

US President Barack Hussein Obama is nothing in front of my man Honourable Attorney General Aiyaz Sayed Khaiyum.
He is full of karishma ( shit!)
Long live ASK!
Long Live Dharam Lingam!

Anonymous said...

an article with a very bad taste. i didnt know coup 4.5 can get any lower than this. a very desperate attempt to keep the fight going on knowing very well that the war is lost

Anonymous said...

Where is grubby these days? No update on his blog for sometime. Maybe frank hasn't paid him?

rajend naidu said...

This news segment from SBS 19/4 is very relevant to our case. In the video accompanying the article 'Musharraf under house arrest' the SBS reporter in Islamabad tells us that Musharraf the once all powerful military dictator is now a wanted man. He is being held accountable by judges - a landmark moment in a country with a history of military takeovers. Retired Pakistan Military General Talat Masood says in the video "previously there was a feeling the army had immunity and could not be touched by the judiciary or any other institutions of state.But that is no more the case.And that is a good omen in that it shows democracy is gaining strength in Pakistan".
What do they say in law? This Pakistani case could become an important precedent in dealing with dictator's who give themselves immunity and feel they have become untouchable.
Now Musharraf knows belatedly his immunity is imaginary!
rajend naidu

No Judicial Independence said...

musharaf case will never have here as long as we have gates and shameem and other judges giving advise to dictators so that they get appointed as judges.
aiyass and frank own the judges and magistrates in fiji at the moment as none of them dare pass judgements against the state because they now know what happens to the ones that do.

Anonymous said...

'Economic union'Fiji trip to PNG hailed as strategic success (Pacific Scoop 19/4).
Guess who is doing the hailing?
It's good old Grubby!
I tink dispela kai kai buai tumas!
It wasn't only the coup made PM Voreqe Bainimarama who was "on high". Graham Davis the "independent" journalist was also very high making castles in the sky about new Fiji-PNG and Melanesian group ties and trade.

Anonymous said...

Graham Davis ends his opinion piece with this parting shot : "One thing is certain. The axis of power in the Pacific is gradually shifting,whether Australia, New Zealand and their Polynesian client states such as Samoa like it or not".
With the gradual shifting of power eventually PNG,Fiji and the other Melanesian countries will also become prosperous and the standard of living of their people will become better .( At least that is the claim at the present time eloquently articulated by the "independent" journalist Davis).
Time will tell. And a longitudinal study is required to assess the change. Davis assessment cannot by any yardstick be regarded as conclusive.
Meantime we read in the 2013 Report on International Human Development Indicators that Samoa's HDI is "above the regional average" and it's "success is likely to be the result of gradual integration with the world economy and accompanied by investments in people, institutions and infrastructure".
The Samoan "client state" seems to be doing reasonably alright. Can we say the same for PNG and Fiji who are clearly nobody's "client state"? In the case of Fiji, China might dispute that claim!

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous 5.28 PM
Please don't be too harsh with the Sanatan skunks Dewan Chand Maharaj and Vijendra Prakash. They are only following an old custom of their kind : the gaand chato custom!

Anonymous said...

the Boston Bomber has been caught alive. he is a Chechen Muslim. His elder brother the one shot dead he looks like Khaiyum. the younger one with a cockroachy look looks like a young Khaiyum!

Chandu Umaria embezzler said...

Re: Girls in rape trap:

watch out for coup supporter and regime collaborator, sex-crazed Chandu Umaria, who has a taste for young girls, whom he plies with alcoholic drinks at Purple Haze from monies embezzled from SCC when he was lord mayor.

The corrupt Bainimarama regime is selective in its application of justice and does nothing to regime supporters like Chandu Umaria - embezzler and prostitute user, so thank you c4.5 for exposing such people.

KAILA said...

They should used petrol to wash their feat not water be even better save us all time and money to bring them to justice..

Anonymous said...

Why wash his feet??? chop them off!!!!

Anonymous said...

recycle - use cara wai pani to wash their feet!

Anonymous said...

Nice photo of Honourable Attorney General in the Fiji Sun telling the people of Fiji he is this big a pile of shit with his hands!
I knew the Honourable Attorney General was an Honest Man. Who would be honest enough to say he is such a pile of shit?
Long Live ASK!
Long live Dharam Lingam!

Anonymous said...

we also need a photo of Dharam lingam.can someone oblige.
I want to frame his photo and keep it in my toilet to help me shit!

Anonymous said...

the difference between Samoa and Fiji is that Samoa is headed by an educated straight talking pm.
Fiji has a dumb ass school dropout who is a proven liar.

Anonymous said...

The difference between Samoa and Fiji is that Fiji has 4 and Samoa has 0 - coups !
Now that's a record Samoa will be hard press to beat.
And remember as well this might not be the last coup Fiji will have!