Latest regime specialities: slave trading and STDs

 Grubby,

Still no darling for you. First you leave me for another woman on Valentine’s Day and then just as it’s getting better between us, Qorvice produces another pile of crap and expects me to pay for it.

I always knew it was a mistake to hire white people to work for the Fiji Ministry of Miss Information. They just do not understand the Fijian Culture and they do not understand the Fijian language. 

Look at this press release that was sent to me for approval. Please Grubby tell me you did not write this. I would be so disappointed if an award winning journalist to whom I am paying hundreds of thousands of dollars could get a story quite so wrong. 

Only a complete idiot can mix up I-Taukei and E-Ticket?

Vodkafun extends the $2 subsidised offer

Vodkafun Fiji Limited and the Bland Transvestite Authority have announced that the $2 per I-Taukei subsidised offer will be extended.

This is after Vodkafun Fiji’s initial stock of 100,000 I-Taukei had ran out.

This means there are no more on hand until new stocks of I-Taukei are delivered from China in the second week of March.

The situation has been attributed to an unprecedentedly-high number of people turning up to purchase the I-Taukei.

 Vodkafun head of Human Trafficking Resources, Slaver Prasad, said: “Vodkafun had ordered ample stock to last up to two months at the initial price of $10.  “However, when the True Leader, Aiyarse, ordered us to reduce the price from $10 to $2 meant there was a rush from the members of the public to get bargain priced I-taukei.”

Crunch time again for Qarase and the party formerly known as SDL

Brief reunion: pic Fiji Times

The jury is out on both Laisenia Qarase and his old party.

Fiji's last democratically elected prime minister was in court again this week to appeal the charges and verdict that led to him being found guilty of abuse of office and sentenced to 12 months jail last year.

Court of Appeal judges William Callanchini, Suresh Chandra and Eric Basiniyake have retired to reach a decision.

It's not certain when a ruling is due, but it'll be before a decision on the future of Qarase's former SDL Party.

The newly-named Social Democratic Liberal Party has now re-registered and is using the not so user-friendly acronym, SODELPA.

A party spokesperson, Dr Tupeni Baba, says they've gone with the new acronym 'so as not to confuse it with the old Party name, the SDL.' 

Baba told Coupfourpointfive the amendment decree 'caught us by surprise and delayed our registration efforts but we should be able to clear up all the objections raised against our proposed party in the normal time provided.'

Baba: leadership to be decided.

He says he is not the party leader as he has been described by some regional media this week.

"We have not chosen one yet.This will be done after the registration of the party together with all other office bearers of the party as would be determined by the Management Board.

"We have only named some office officials in our application for registration such as the Party President who is Ro Teimmumu Kepa, two vice presidents, a National Treasurer and, the General Secretary & and the Party Registration Officer, who is Pio Tabaiwalu."

Baba says SODELPA's main concern at the moment is to get the party registered, which is expected to take about 28 days and probably be done by March 24.

"We are confident about the information we have furnished  the Registrar and we should be able to counter all the objections."

Baba says SODELPA's support base is spread out in all of the divisions but if he were 'to single out two out of three, I would say that the strongest support would be from the Central division, followed by the Northern  and the Eastern Division, and then the  Western Division.'

Regime moves on Fiji's seabed to tie up international deal

Lockheed Martin: from defence to minerals

The American aerospace, defense and security company, Lockheed Martin, is driving the regime timetable to pass a new decree to allow offshore  companies to search  the Fiji seabed for minerals.

Lockheed Martin is one of the world's largest defence contractors and has already sighted the draft decree (see below) the regime plans to approve next week.

While stakeholders have been given just a couple of days to make submissions, the company has according to those in the know, been well-consulted. 

Fiji police officer commits suicide over compensation

A story you will not see or read in the Fiji media

A police constable who was denied a workmen's compensation by the Fiji Police Force has committed suicide. 

Before dying, Constable 3736 Alvin Prakash had repeatedly pleaded from his death-bed to see the Police Commissioner Iowane Naivalurua. 

Alvin Prakash was seriously injured while on duty in July 2010. After questioning a drunk and disorderly suspect at the Grantham Road police post at about 3pm, the suspect's father went to his nearby home and brought a cane-knife. 

According to court documents, Prakash heard someone coming up the front door. It was the suspect's father, Anasa and he had a cane knife in his hand. 

Fiji civil servants gagged but Khaiyum takes to Facebook

Only in Fiji: civil servants have been warned not to speak or engage in political activities but the illegal attorney general, Aiyaz Sayed Khaiyum, has opened a Facebook.

Khaiyum's facebook carries his official photo, the one used on the website for the illegal attorney's office, and the question must be asked: why has he opened a social networking site? And is he about to campaign publicly for the 2014 elections as has been suggested by some inside moles?

Insiders claim a strategy is underway to get Khaiyum onto a party ticket which could see him appointed by the illegal leader to Parliament, if the Singapore model is adopted as Fiji's new Constitution. 

Regime boosting work gang numbers but picking and choosing who it helps

RFMF engieers and villagers building a toilet at a Tailveu school.

Two hundred and fifty new recruits are being signed up by the regime for the Engineers Unit.

These are the young men who will boost the Engineers Rural Development Unit to complete the tasks the illegal leader, Frank Bainimarama, has promised.


And yet there is no guarantee villagers will get their share of goodies: take the case of Vitogo and Naviyago, which were stripped of DISMAC relief because of a perceived slight on Bainimarama by its Tui Vitogo.

Bainimarama wanted the Tui Vitogo, whose traditional realm are the two villages, to go and do his matanigasau (traditional apology) to him before he helped the villagers, who lost 23 homes in Cyclone Evan in December.